Warning there is occasional foul language in a few poems, also many of these poems were written a long time ago, I am not the same person, being now happily married.
I would suggest that you finish any readings with one of the more positive ones for there is a lot of negative emotion going on in a lot of them, and I don’t want you leaving here depressed.
Into the red 11/11/24 In a world filled with hate We're served an empty plate In a world filled with derision We're served a plate of derision Integrity becomes expedience Truth was lost along time ago The waves toss us to and fro Disaster the only experience Where is a man supposed to go How is a flower supposed to grow Was this an inevitable fate Once we turned our face from God Is this our reluctant state Since we faked the word of God Mankind has become like sheep Bleating the party line Just doing what they're told A pack of noisesome fools Agressive intolerance Violence begets violence At war with ouselves As we spiral into the red Into the red Catastrophe after catastrophe As our hearts are bled Pleading to be fed Finding a dead end instead Dead end instead Now the joker in the tower The standards somewhat lower Wields unlimited power Crushing the ordinary man Just because they can And we spiral into the red Into the red With a steel blue gaze Totally unphased The death warrant is signed How hot it's going to get With no improvement yet We're going deeper into the red Into the red The blindfolded leading the blind Fumbling through the dark Stumbling down the wrong road Finding the dead end again Dead end again
Emulating Eliot in a wasted world 19/7/2024 Madame Sosostris lives yet Her readings still fail the test The cards are all reversed Save for the wicked in their towers They wield their suits of words And the world falls down The greater craftsman spake But the orchid could not grow Neither will these treeless lands bear good fruit Instead men will stare at their feet And mourn the loss of Spring The dead they walk the streets But they will not cross the Bridge of Sighs Their eyes aflame they hurl abuse instead And I, I walked beneath a wagging my finger Know you well that war did not end Instead men will always be at odds Their necks as stiff as rods Imbecilic sods Trapped in light Trapped in dark Unfulfilled with wealth Taken to an early death Bathed in poverty Stumbling through the darkened trenches The game of chess isn’t played Empty passion flayed Ennui displayed Ah Phlebas you poor soul What was lost can never be found Renewal is but a dream And God is jealous of his commandments He will not be stayed For your ambition played Where there could be green rivers peaceful There is found but concrete stressful Cold as a rock Block by endless block And I, I walked the streets a shaking my head All I saw were handfuls of dust From which the spirit has fled As this reckless life is led And then the thunder spoke There was no allusion There was no illusion No confusion And I, I was enlightened There is the key Fine and warm tomorrow 16/10/2023 Meat and three veg for dinner And Monday's news is on TV But it's all war and woe And I think to myself It's a horrible horrible world If you're an ethnic minority But it's fine and warm tomorrow Meat and three veg for dinner And Tuesday's news is on TV But it's all war and woe And I think to myself It's an awful awful world If you're in the wrong country But it's fine and warm tomorrow Meat and three veg for dinner And Wednesday's news is on TV But its all war and woe And I think to myself It's a dangerous dangerous world If your skin's the wrong colour. But it's fine and warm tomorrow Meat and three veg for dinner And Thursday's news is on TV But it's all war and woe And I think to myself It's a terrible terrible world If you're living below the poverty line But it's fine and warm tomorrow Meat and three veg for dinner And Friday's news is on TV But it's all war and woe And I think to myself It's a cruel cruel world If you are disabled but it's fine and warm tomorrow Meat and three veg for dinner And Saturday's news is on TV But it's nearly all war and woe And I think to myself It's an abominable abominable world If there's no one there to help But my team won their game And it's fine and warm tomorrow Meat and three veg for dinner And Sunday's news is on TV But it's back to all war and woe I see emaciated bodies lying in the streets I see nation fighting nation They're really saying I hate you I see wild life being brought to the brink of extinction I see pollution and ugliness everywhere I look I see little children crying in the streets And I think to myself Unless you're white or wealthy It's just not a nice world at all But it's still fine and warm tomorrow
CONTROL 31/12/2022 Deepening distopia So many lines crossed Craving superficialities Where cruelty is rewarded Chasing pointless dreams So much need So little help Shriveled soul Perpetrated misery Entrenched poverty Unrepentant pillaging Rapacious greed Sterlilized Oceans Denatured lands What have we done Hellification Raging fires Disastrous droughts Ravening floods A gloomy doom Economic refugeees Nowhere to run Nowhere to hide Disingenious politicions The power and the greed Unfixed problems Rampant corruption The grim reaper is laughing As another war rages Will we ever learn To live and let live Commonly senseless Brutally desensitised Desolator escalated There'll be no sequel No reprieve No reprise Because extintion is forever Our behaviour makes it inevitable The stubborn refusal to change To work for the greater good Fears and angers Reprisals and revenge Until the sticky bloody end My tears they fall on hardened ears Quagmire of frilly frothy fripperies Swamped by dissatisfaction Narcissistic frivolity Shallow dreams Small minded fools Along the white line of normality All part of the problem As thunder rolls around the world There's no respect That I can detect Battered wives Shattered lives Indiscriminate planet rapers Irresponsible ravers Just a short quick look at ourselves Shows we're all part of the problem Mountainous problems Chasms apart Unfathomable rifts The deep divide East versus west Rich versus poor Us versus them Me versus you Control thyself Another closed door We're all in the pooh Shitting in our bed Pissing on your head Life in the red We're all dead We have eyes But fail to see We have brains That are fiiled with mush All the wrong stuff Meaningless fluff Into perpetuity Until it's too late It's too late The damage is done I can't see any light Not enough fight To end the blight Coal fired foolishness Damaging the future Money inspired idiocy Blinkered and blinded We blithely sail over the edge Woshippers of the almighty dollar We stride confidently through the gates of death Our wasted souls ablaze with hubris Humanity control thyself
OBSCENE ANTHROPOCENE 3/3/2022 I wear a furrowed brow For the here and now East or west Jew or Arab Russian or Ukrainian We are one species We’re on one planet There is no black There is no white There is only blood Perceptions If the common man refused to fight There’d be no war Imagine that Complacently complicit It takes effort to be good To do what’s right For the strong to refrain Refracted thinking Empathy shrinking Carnage in the field Assassin’s bullet For the despotic fool Bullies aren’t reasonable Unfettererd power will always damage Insatiable Unstable Spiraling into another conflict Careening down the wrong path This will not end well This obscene Anthropocene This creation of man is flawed To its rotten core It’s aesthetically unacceptable Crippling Deadly Hate for the next door neighbour Hate for people that hurt Hate for father Hate is unhealthy It destroys the soul There’s a lot of soulless people out there Hate for the other political party Hate for the other religion Hate for the other country Hate for the other race Hate is dangerous It destroys the world There’s a lot of destructive people out there Hate for Hitler Hate for Stalin Hate for Trump Hate for Khamenei Hate for Putin Well okay Some hate is justified They have encouraged hate en masse They have justified their destruction They have completely lost their soul And made others pay the price Cauterize the cancer End this madness This malignant malaise Choose to be good Choose to do what’s right
AND SO IT GOES Too many people teaching intolerance Since the first club was formed Not enough people thinking right Not enough people thinking at all Like bleating sheep They follow the party line Chanting party slogans Perpetuating poison And so it goes And so it goes Are you thinking logically Are you living humanely It could be a beautiful world So much cruelty, pain and suffering Are you rationalizing your part in this destruction Empathy is a universal necessity I want and I don't care about the consequences This human race is concluding Are you proud of the world you're helping to create What? The truth has been occluded You have been duped You are being used Pacification by consumerism A most unsatisfying religion The strong get what they want When personal gain is the only aim Planetary bullies There is no place left for wildlife There's more plastic in the ocean than fish Endless development covering the world Endless monocultures destroy the habitats Our greedy mouths are suffocating the globe There's no room to breathe Amusing ourselves to oblivion Our quality of life is not sustainable Functional unfairness Instead of coming together Will we ever learn Business as usual Are we improving? No Is the plight of our wildlife improving? no Are we reducing population pressure? No Are we improving fairness? No Tribalism must end We are all of us...us Expect respect There's no excuse for abuse Does any government care more for its people than itself? No Today an ardent protestor Tomorrow anther fat cat Are we saving our forests? No Is the world fair for all? No Is there enough care out there? Is the world less fractured? No and no And covid, like some onerous corvid Is gnawing at the back of my brain Why are there still wet markets selling misery When the dangers are well known Another pandemic is inevitable Mother Earth is the keeper of life Not a resource This fractious combative species Is slowly being torn to pieces Ignorance Ambitious opportunist Marching to the discordant beat of the wrong drum Xenophobia Evil externalized Wild eyed and lost in the maze Another dead end craze Entrenched distrust Rabid consumers Unsustainable users Planet wide abusers The world is suffering for the privileged few Business as usual cannot go on Let me assure you Greed is not good Be the difference Emergency! Emergency! Emergency! We're caught in a feedback loop Lethal coop Crisis? This crisis! Earthwide alarm Hello? Is anyone listening? Temperature loops Temperature cliff Storm loops How big a disaster is it going to take? Wake up world This is serious It's time to get unsettled It's time to get serious Regreenificitation We're living in platitudes This is the wrong attitude This is urgent This is dire Our world is on fire This is no good Here a devastating flood There a caatstrophic drought There can be no doubt What it's all about A world full of unhappiness Entrenched foolishness Like irresponsible children Lusting after what we shouldn't have A rampant perversion of values Hateful ideology is a waste of life Life is a series of unfair events A world full of insecurities Fears Fripperies Abstracts on the TV Cloistered from the horrors The cracks are opening wider There will be no place to hide As the mouth of hell is opened wide Are there less guns in the world? No Is there more equality in the world? no Have we gone a step too far? Yes You can justify any way you like That doesn't make it right That doesn't make it good Money is power Power is money Money is inanity Power is insanity These golden cows we still pursue Devolving Degenerating Destroying No self restraint No self respect Nasty politics Godless criminals Soulless corporates Incontrovertible decline Do you hear the death knell yet? So many bad decisions Spiritless men act in the name of God As the world gets more ugly Another abominable human takes power A system is only as good as its administrators I am not fooled I see the facile fiasco Discordant aria Take a look around you Superficial fixes Kicking cans down a dead end street Justifying anything in the name of money Are you thinking of the greater good? I see the shallowness of our empty hearts Whilst we fill our wallets with death Inner peace is unattainable Too much noise Annoying asides Noisome crowds Just don't get it Worry face Extinction pace Isn't devastation already here? It's only going to get worse It's only going to get worse It's only going to get worse You can't buy beauty That's all you need Extinction is forever How many white rhinos are there? Pangolin exploitation A hundred thousand trawlers Over consumption Unsustainable production A life of insecurity Disenchantment rife What was once a beautiful world Is no longer This was a perfect planet Society is sickening It's every man for himself Pathetic politics Alcohol uncivilises Meth is death So many things are wrong So much damage Not enough people care We're fiddling around Whilst Rome is burning Wasteful overusers Absolute planet abusers And yes it's getting worse And so it goes And so it goes Until it's gone Extinction is forever Do you understand? Extinction Is For Ever
I’M NOT A RACIST BUT… 22/8/2020 Unconscious racial bias matters Do I hear you think I’m not a racist But I don’t want them living next to me Inclusion matters Charles Floyd mattered I’m not a racist But I don’t like them sitting next to me on the bus History matters Rosa Parks mattered I’m not a racist But they are different aren’t they Justice matters Emmett Till mattered I’m not a racist But they’re not as smart are they Amazing Grace matters Barack Obama mattered I’m not a racist but They’re just not as responsible are they Segregation mattered Greenwood Tulsa mattered I’ve shed so many tears for those coloured roses Whether Jews or Arabs Catholic or Protestant Latino or Chinese Black or white We all bleed the same We all have the right to be People matter David Dungay mattered The difference between us is so small So pick up the placard of the night Because racial stereotyping matters Trayon Martin mattered Michael Brown mattered So many funerals of black people Killed by white people Killed by white cops America burning again The world on fire Oppression matters Divisiveness is death Forgiveness is forever Hate creates irrationality White supremacy is a fallacy Enough is enough is enough There are no illegal immigrants to this planet Bigotry is illogical Criminally pathological Inanely bleating sheep Blah blah baah Spitting forth their drivel Hateful invective A pack of deranged dogs Baying for blood at any cost Hate for hate’s sake Love matters Tolerance matters What the world needs now is oxytocin sweet oxytocin
THE TYRANT IS DEAD 25/3/2020
The grown man can forgive
The frightened little child cannot
Nor the angry young man
The cruel tyrant is dead
There was no love
There was no repartee
There was no rapport
There was nothing
An impassive unimpressive
Pretence of a father
I can find no charity
Completely impassive to his death
No tear will be shed by me
The tyrant is dead
There was no love
The scars from his cruelty are deep
Only partially healed
And now he’s gone
I’m free from his burden
With no reconciliation
There’s now a dead end
The tyrant is dead
There was no love
There was no forgiveness
No mercy
No peace
There was no one I could turn to
The lonely little child
Unloved, unlovable
The tyrant is dead
There was no love
No child should be afraid to go home
No son should despise his father
I can still see his angry twisted face
As he tore me into little pieces
My mind my soul all frozen with fear
Day after day
Year after year
Like a cornered mouse
There was nowhere to run
No where to hide
So I hid within myself
The tyrant is dead
There was no love
Years of repression
Suppression
Oppression
Years of depression
Secession
Disaffection
It was my nineteenth year when I broke the yoke
Shattered the shackles
With the help of my good friends
I took my first steps towards self worth
So now I am an old man
The tyrant is dead
There was no love
But that doesn’t matter now
His power over me has long since waned
There now only remains the ghost
The ghost of a little child’s fear
————————————————————–
HERE AT THE END OF THE WORLD 30/4/19
And so the end has come
The web of life has collapsed
There is no water
There is no food
All our women are sterile
Here at the end of the world
Unsustainable destroying of the forests
Unabashed pillaging of the oceans
Uncontrolled consuming of the resources
Unrelenting damage to the fabric of life
Until the end of the world
We never did learn to care about the world
Too busy feeding ourselves
Just getting on with our lives
Ignoring all the warnings
Here at the end of the world
The scientists they pleaded
The greenies they implored
As our resources gradually dwindled
As the water wars gradually took hold
Here at the end of the world
Everything will die
Yes everything is dying
The genetic insecticide has seen to that
The poisoned water will see to that
Here at the end of the world
We never saw it coming
We just didn’t understand
That our doom was inevitable
Our behavior we never modified
Until the end of the world
The population pressures went exponential
The water wars that ensued were brutal
Poisoning each others waters
We never did learn to care about each other
Here at the end of the world
The genetic insecticide was a break through
But was released without enough research
So the cockroach will not inherit the earth
Now nothing will survive
Here at the end of the world
We created artificial intelligence
Wonderful machines designed to help us win
But they all closed themselves down
Understanding the damage they were doing
Before the end of the world
So now we are a feeble few
Scavenging over the wreckage of our civilization
Soon we too will perish
The feckless victims of our own foolishness
Here at the end of the world
We never did learn to care about anything but ourselves
--------------------------------------------------------------------------- Everydayitis or Miserere for the planet Monday: Weapons are for those who have not To take what they have not earned Be it need Or be it greed Building defenses There’s prosperity in equality There’s profitability in sustainability Nationalism brings inequality, instability We need one world one people We need consensus We need to care about each others futures The impotence of the UN We are not united It needs to evolve Into the grace of the WGB Where no self interest has a veto Where general good has sway Where old enemies become friends Tuesday: What is the point of working for ourselves Or even for our nation We should be working for the world This wonderful diverse world Wednesday: It’s a minefield out there We are programmed to make selfish choices We are programmed to make stupid choices Our coping mechanisms are destructive Is your head in the sand Emotionally childish Drug addicted losers Thursday: Justice is only for the rich The poor just die We think we’re so smart But we can’t outsmart nature Physics is immutable We think we’re so special A God blessed species Separated from nature But we’re just hedonistic users Absolute planet abusers Friday: Technology is an intellectual vacuum cleaner Sucking out the soul Whether you’re rich or poor You’re a slave to the system And the systems are wrong Eventually suicidal There is no way to cope Are you pretending Just ignoring Hoping someone else will fix it And all the while Just being part of the problem Unavoidably destructive No matter what you do What are you doing irresponsibly Don’t kid yourself Saturday: Why are we still dealing in destitution Luxury is offensive The epitome of inequality A plethora of pointless persuances Jostling for your surplus cash Let the good things grow Let them grow Every load of concrete makes the world a little meaner Every tree chopped down makes the world a little poorer It’s death by seven point seven billion cuts And counting From rainforest to Palm Oil plantation For cheap margarine For cheap makeup What choices are you making Queues on Mt Everest The destruction of the Amazon We are a species on the brink of decline And we don’t even know it yet What percentage of smokers are climate change deniers Alcoholics or capitalists Despotic tyrants or politicians All short term thinkers With not enough incentive to look beyond themselves We have created a sick world Sunday: What trivialities are you embracing Futureless alcoholics Senseless smokers A world of short term thinkers Narcissistic nonsensensicles Playing with the planet Future deniers all One day there will be no Monday Yes your trivial life Is a small piece in the jigsaw puzzle Of the problems we've created Survival of the fittest Survival of the greediest A world of bad decisions Born of simple distrust What owns your soul Money or greed Perhaps the pursuit of happiness Or maybe just selfishness The seven sins are still deadly Though now seven point eight billion sins Are unsustainable Someone always has to pay The buck can only be passed finitely Too many people looking the other way So now the sins are normalized What once was wrong Is now just a joke But the symphony of sorrows Is still perpetually perpetrated on the weak Whilst the rest of us are insulated With no rosy cheeks A speechless mouth Wax filled ears We refuse to acknowledge the truth A pack of mindless monkeys Doing what is expected Afraid to question the norm Working in our ivory towers Insulated from the damage we're doing Who will pay the price We are all of us guilty To a greater or lesser degree It's still death by seven point nine billion cuts And the tipping point is not too far away Do you feel inviolate Within your insulated house The tendrils of the world's pain Are beyond your capacity for empathy Can your soulless eyes really turn away Can you dig your hands deeper into your pockets Turn up the collar of your jacket Against the coming storm This pestilence is all pervasive Particularly personal With current trends There are no amends Who will cry for the death of the human race Will God just wipe His hands clean A wry grin upon his face And start all over again A better set of rules Or a better set of players Who don't forget to mean their prayers A more compassionate way of being Not a Sycophantic society Dancing in the doorway to hell Waltzing with an empty shell All the sheets are torn All the streets are worn A dead end every one So where are we going You and I Where are you going
I don't wanna dance no more It was a high school dance And I was dancing with this pretty girl Now I'm no Victor Sylvestor But I was trying my best Then she asked me to waltz I told her I couldn't So she gave me the cold shoulder I was hurt I was humiliated I became a wallflower I don't wanna dance no more It was a youth group social And I was dancing with my best friend's sister Now I'm no Fred Astair But I was trying my best I felt a tap on my shoulder And a friend of mine cut in She chose to dance with him I was hurt I was humiliated I became a wallflower I don't wanna dance no more It was another youth group social And I was dancing with a girl I was in love with Now I'm no Rudolph Valentino But I was trying my best I felt a tap on my shoulder And a friend of mine cut in She chose to dance with him I was devastated I was humiliated I became a wallflower I don't wanna dance no more It was a folk dance And I'd danced all night with a girl I was interested in I know I'm no Michael Flatley But I thought we were having fun At the last dance though a child asked her to dance She gave me the cold shoulder And chose to dance with him I was hurt I was humiliated I became a wallflower I don't wanna dance no more It was my marriage day And I was dancing with my new wife Now I'm still no Rudolf Nureyev But I felt at ease with her I tried my best Though I looked nervously over my shoulder No one dared to cut in So I wasn't hurt I wasn't humiliated But I still became a wallflower And still I don't wanna dance no more
TREAD LIGHTLY 18/2/2017
Tread lightly upon the world
For it is terribly damaged
Tread softly upon the substrate of your forefather’s land
For it was they that raped and pillaged like there was no tomorrow
Tread gently in the footsteps of your only one
For it is time to heal this polluted place, this battered place, this shattered face
The time has come to about face
Or it will be the end of this human race, tomorrow
Tread carefully through this depleted mess, this minefield of choices, this chorus of wrong voices
Conspicuous consumption is out
Tread lightly as you go
A TWISTED EXPOSITION
Another night spent alone
Full of romanticies
Fantastic fantasies
Ten million hours
Pain and torture
TV and hate
Love in life
Poetic injustice
Malice
Towards who?
I hate stagnance
Who might glance
Take a chance
With such as me
Fold and see
Watch with glee
Wish to be free
Can you see me?
I hate you
I love you
Can’t work it out
Too large a snout
Pigs all about
Seen me yet?
Not a chance
I prance too much
All I need is love
Friendly companions
You should see me now
Oh and how
With plenty of ease
If I please
If you please
Dine alone
Walk alone
To the sunset
And yet
Oh what the heck
I think I need you
Not just one, you all
I need your help
I need your love
Who would give it
Unthinking
I can only promise to try
I’ve been alone too long
I’ve been too strong
And now I’m weak
And now I’m meek
As I need your life
This is more to the future
To the one who might
And not yet done
The hope of new life to come
In the Summer
I’ll be finished with hate
Finished with self pity
Finished with the devil
I need God’s love as yours
Dear, look
I’m wandering again
Because to know me
Is to feel my pain
See my torture
And touch my love
Who could do that?
My love lies battered
My heart lies shattered
A flattened mass of offal
There’s too much lard
Not enough gladness
Who would daunt
Not haunt
Who would save
Not enslave
Who would comfort
When the fog machines start
And not silently depart?
From the depths of my mind
On a filthy night
One might come
Sand castles destroyed
My armies deployed
My mind all void
Vacuum of helpless
Look at me hapless
Could you touch
And make me whole
Could you vouch
And save my soul
I lie in pain
Not a fake wane
Yes, a fake smile
I laugh but for a moment
I cry for ever and a day
A wanderers lament
But won’t you pray
And stay just one more day
Expoundings alone
Explainings all done
Leave me alone
I’ll do my own thing
And you do yours
And who knows
One day I just might
One day it just might
IN THE WASHING MACHINE 8/11/18
There’s sweat on my brow
But I ain’t working hard
There’s sweat in my eyes
There’s sweat on my thighs
And no matter what I do
My shirts won’t come clean
In the washing machine
There’s grit on my brow
But I ain’t working hard
There’s grit in my eyes
And grit on my thighs
And no matter what I do
My pants won’t come clean
In the washing machine
My socks are so smelly
My undies so rank
So no matter what I do
They won’t come clean
In the washing machine
The shower is ineffectual
A swim is brief relief
And I doubt I’d come clean
In the washing machine
THE TOWER OR ANYWHERE 7/12/77
Oh I had a little cry about an hour ago
And it went straight to my head
I’m tired and I want to die
I’ve been alone for too long now
There’s a river running down my face
And there’s my heart bounding down the lane
I seem so alone at twenty one
The thoughts just aren’t there
I just can’t adhere to any one story
And as they drift silently away
I sing me a long song
Think I’ll find me a tower
And throw myself off
Sometimes it seems unfair
When God leaves me alone
It seems not even He cares
I cried at work today
I’ll cry again tomorrow
Because there is only sorrow
The laughter quenched in tears
It’s been like this for years
They still know I’m mad
But no, I’m just so sad
I wish they wouldn’t leave me alone
To let my brain meander
My legs wander
My arms reach out to you my friend
My friend? Are you there?
Knock knock, go away
Knock knock, go away
I have no time
Knock knock, go away
Knock knock, go away
Go away
I must go away
Forever there to stay
Never return
God’s mansion will burn
Before I will return
Yet here I am
In a job I hate
With nothing to create
I’ve prayed to you God
But you’ve let me down again
Just like a V.R. train
It must be my brain
Though I cannot explain
My torture my torment
My demure my lament
A demise I despise and no reprise
No sunrise in prayer
I go on strike
Sit down for love
No one will raise my love
It’s high up above
I’m high up above
Look at me fly
My oh my oh dear
I think I’m drunk
I’m not up above
I’m in a deep hole
Though drink deserves credit
Of course ’till you’ve read it
Then you realize
That drink you had an hour ago
Went straight to your head
And I’ve no guts to go over
Now my head’s cleared
It’s two in the morning
At the top of this tower
The wind’s too damn cold up here
Down 7/8/19
My crakt and creaking fingers
Are reaching for the unattainable stars
These old bones have run their course
Too many things left undone
An empty underachiever
Scratching around the possibilities of life
Drifting into somnolence
Is this soiled soul enough?
Will this pool of blood pass the test?
Or am I just like the rest
Unrepentant I’ve done my best
Never have I looked at peace within
Nor where I belong without
My smile remains imperfect
Disappointedly eroded
Inevitably occluded
Fatalistically flawed
Mumbling my way through life
Oh joyless aching day
Just going through the motions
Someone has stolen all my ladders
Leaving only holes for me to fall through
You know that talk is cheap
There’s no one to help me out of this pit
This empty bottomless cup
Irrepairably damaged from childhood
I’ve always been unloving
Always been unlovable
Socially incapacitated
Alone
Wanting to belong
But lacking the skills
Devoid of porpoise
Dead in the water
The silence of the phone
An eternally empty inbox
I cannot claim that God has deserted me
He has never been with me
No matter how hard I tried
I could not find Him
All the doors have been closed
There are no miracles for the mundane man
The sky has fallen down
And now my glass is empty
I can only hope for a new one
IT’S RAINING!
Drip drop
Look it’s drizzling
Pitter patter
Look it’s raining
Roar!
Look it’s pouring
Drip drop
Look I’m wet
Pitter patter
Look I’m soaking
Roar!
Help! I’m drowning
REFUGEES 27/10/13
Say goodbye my dear
Say goodbye
I hear the sound of bulldozers snarling
Say goodbye to Aunty Ethel
She must die within her home
Say goodbye to mother Mulga
For she has sustained us well
Our homes must go to feed the humans
So that they can become fat and wealthy
Say goodbye my dear
Say goodbye
The bulldozer is almost upon us now
Say goodbye to Uncle Pete
He must die within his home
Say goodbye to father forest
For he has sustained us well
Our homes must go to feed the stock
To make the humans more fat and wealthy
Come, I can take no more of this
It sickens me to my soul
We must join the exodus
Refugees within our home
We will die upon the road
ANOTHER REGRETTABLE REGRESSION
OR DEATH IN THE S BEND
I’m no mister universe
But I’m under no curse
I know what’s important in this life
But no one else seems willing to give
I’ve struggled to do my best
But it always seems to end in strife
And no one seemed willing to forgive
Lord, what about the rest?
Disappointed
My wounded feelings stagger about
Searching for some sort of solace
I reach out my hand to you in need
I’m down on my knees, must I plead?
I’m pining for life that never was
Oh please Lord
Hurting
I’m a minuscule nothing perverse
Crawling about under a curse
Wallowing in self pity
I stumble around, banging into walls
Calling down empty halls
That echo into a void eternity
All seems black, dirty, soiled
As into depression, I’m sucked, embroiled
Lost
Time’s gone by now
I’ve had time to brew
Time to stew
Chew
Hew
Cut
Hack
Kill
Maim
Destroy
I hate you all
You careless insensitive people
You bastards
You fucked up my life
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Lord I am thoroughly pissed off with all these pretend friend people
Waffling all around the world like a pack of pregnant pineapples
Wreaking havoc and harm upon all that they touch
What am I supposed to do Lord?
I can’t fight the world
I can’t fight deceit
Nor selfishness
Or greed
I have no defense against users
Nor abusers
Or mindless pigs that barge their way through other peoples lives
What am I supposed to do?
Frustration
Angry pain
In my brain
Coursing, cursing
Sucking life from my soul
Love is a myth
Death
I used to believe in miracles
I used to believe in love
Nothing
And who has ultimate responsibility
Who do I blame the most?
Yes it’s you Lord
It’s you I loved the most
It’s you I tried to please
It’s you who hurt me the most
It’s you I hate the most
Bitterness
I’ve become a recluse
I’ve learnt how to survive
Damn it I’m still alive… somewhere inside
I’m tired of curve balls smashing into my manhood
So you can only touch my walls
Run down long abandoned halls
My feelings I refuse to bare
I don’t dare care
A product of an isolating society
Where sensitive souls get tromped on, used
And lonely hearts get sucked out, abused
The forgotten refuse
Decrepit
Discarded
Empty
I trusted her with who I was
So she stomped on my soul
And flushed me down the toilet
But I got stuck in the s bend, you see
For years I’ve been slowly drowning
Dodging bits of pooh
Ah! So you think it’s funny?
Sitting there all bright and sunny
But can’t you see my fingers
As they reach out my last gasp?
But no
She croons a last goodbye
As she presses the cursed lever
She’s out there you know
Fear
With cool unconcerned eyes
Icy indifferent heart
Fairy floss pretend friend games
Selfdetermined steamroller
Bulldoze my heart aside
Gimme this but not that limitations
Gently caress a tender cheek
Bash her to senseless death
I love you, NO!
Wild emotions
Struck dumb
Battered mania
Mega phobia
I need you
Stay away from me
Confusion
Says she wants to be friends
GAAH!
I feel like I’m scrabbling around in the shadows
In sight of the deepest of blue oceans
Her loveless laughing lingo
Baying like a mad dog dingo
Shit
I’ve gone too far again
Vespers is quietly playing in the background
The irony is too much
I can’t go on like this
ZERO 8/4/18
People pursuing pointless amusements
Contribution to the betterment of society
Zero
Work play eat sleep
Is that all there is?
Work play eat sleep
Drifting
Work play eat sleep
Sum total of achievements
Zero
GLOWING LIFE
Lying low
Laying low
Life flow
Low
Fly low
Flawless flying
Flying low
Flirting flitfully
Flying low
Glowing flow
Life flow
A LESSON IN A NIGHTMARE 15/9/78
Thrashing bashing
Fumbling crumbling
Slip stumble
To the hills I’m tripping
Got to find a town
Got to find some help
The bottom for a drink of water
Cool splash in a deep dark delve
Oh it’s so dark down here
Climbing groping
Reaching grabbing
Slowly hoping
For the top I’m probing
Got to find a track
Got to find some civilization
On hands and knees
Threading through thick trees
Not daring to leave the track
That was once so fine
Decisions on which way to go
With a mind I know not clear
Hark! Is that a car I hear?
By the light of half a moon
So buggered am I
Wandering on and on
For so long so dry
So cold, now not so bold
I try to figure out why
But there’s no room for tears
as along a track I trundle
For hours a robot crundle
Until the end of the track
I sink into slumber
Frozen stiff I awake
Like a hibernating snake
I begin to shiver and shake
Back to the car I must try
Up an endless mountain so slowly
Every inch a painful step
Resting until too cold
A howling icy wind
Snow lies scattered here and there
On a pitch black night
My friend the moon no more
Not much energy in store
Sleeping when I dare
To wake up still there
Slowly treading
Fumbling frozen hands
A black track
Black trees
Black stars
Trip and fall
Resting where I fall
Whirring head
Wishing for my bed
Wondering will I return
Still plodding on
Left foot right foot
For so many miles
How many more?
I promise not to do it again
O God help me out
Loosing the track
But finding it again
Numb left side
From a piercing wind
Thought I recognized that!
I’m lost but I’m not
All so disjointed
Still left foot right foot
I’m gonna get back
Gotta get back
Got no mind
After twelve hours
Mechanical left, right
Gotta get back
CANNED 28/3/77
I love the mountains
The seas, the breeze, bees and trees
I love to drive all day
Just to watch the wedge tailed eagles play
Soaring through The Grampians
Then camp by the waterfall at Wannon River
That’s the real me uncanned
I love to walk upon the seashore
Alone, forgotten, desolate sands
The sandpipers on Picanini Dunes
Then sit and day dream
That’s me too, uncanned
I love the breeze on a tall still hill
Cools the face as I plod on and on
Hiking up Mt. Mary
Then sit at the top and day dream again
The bees the trees I love them all
Just sit and stare
At nature so bare
Then I get home
And I see my friends
I love them all too
I have too few I think, too few
At night as I lay on my bed
I lie and daydream once more
But day dreams it seems
Are not enough
Because the real me needs more
I don’t know where
But I know it’s there
It’s true I care
I’m hurt I think
More than I know
The words don’t flow
In pain once more
Of needs I’ve lost
Seeds I’ve tossed
Scattered around
Abound and floundered
Around and grounded
To the beach
So beautiful
The girls so fair
So bare, all hair
I do care
The night so clear
Thoughts all blurred
A burr in my eye
Will not recede
Proceed undaunted
Account preceded
Needed, pleaded
No, go away
Muscle men are near
My Lord I fear
Protect me please
From my Eagle
On top I need
Oh please, on top
The air is so clear
No one is near
I cry, sit and cry
I feel, I care
My thoughts are bare
No one to catch them there
Fly high o eagle
Till no one can catch
Then crash to the earth
A sob of self pity
Sandpipers cheering
Cleaning repairing
Despairing at life’s unknowns
Birds have not flown
Jeering, jeering, always jeering
Laughing and clapping
Disappear all disappear
Maybe my head will clear
Again no one is near
My self is contained
Cannot let out
To flit all about
No one can see me
As I hide away
‘Tis doomsday
Too close
I feel remorse
The fog machine, always machines
So unnatural
We’re all unnatural
Once more my thoughts
Myself, canned
Looking in all the wrong places Each morning as the sun begins arising I look to the west for the bright sun dawning Day after day I search in vain Once more she hasn’t come again So as the dark clouds gather I wander home alone Never did the sun emerge to meet the rivalled gloaming I forged ahead with hopeless tread Despite the fevered warning All the dreamy fantasies I wrought They’ve all come down to nought A germ a gem a seed exterminated A desperate need forever terminated With mine enemies I’ve fought At least I think I thought This is all getting too fraught Think I’ll retire unto my fort I’ve come up short Is there an off switch somewhere A reset button perhaps but no It’s just another grey day Cloudy with not a chance Of a meaningful romance Looking in all the wrong places At all the wrong faces Running all the wrong races Always coming last Another loss amassed
THANKS 10/8/82
For reasons of poetry
For reasons of poachery
For reasons of munchery
That is crunchery at lunchery
I thank thee very muchery
For reasons of slumbery
And peaceful sleep dreamery
ANOTHER LOVE EATEN
I’ve tried in every way
To try to catch your eye
But you always turn away
My thoughts between my head
My head between my knees
And there it seems to stay
I’ve taken the bread
Drunk wine upon the trees
And in the end I pray
My birthday wishes were for you
My nightly prayers are oft for you
If you wish I’d die for you
But it always seems for blue
And none of it comes true
A cold wind blew
No end for my tunnel
It must be round the corner
Poor little Jack Horner
No plum, no thumb
Nutty, neurotic
Spasmodic hate
My love I ate
FOUR WHEEL THRIVING 29/6/77
Mucking and trucking
‘Till the early hours
Totally thriving
On four wheel driving
Bumps and batters
Thumps and splatters
Laughing in the mud
A giant thud
Traverse a ford
Climb a mountain
And watch the waters roar
In the light of the full moon
Good friends, good fellowship
As we slip and slide
Drive and glide
‘Till the early hours
THE LAST GASP 21/5/16
In the dead of night I’m ascending the steps
Up there my mother lies dying
The fatal germs have done their job
With trepid steps I’m nearing the room
Her gasping breath awaits in gloom
The eyes are closed
There’s no one home
No more gin and tonics
No more cups of tea
The doctors have given up and all gone home to bed
Leaving my mother here for dead
And so her progeny are gathered, one last tear to shed
Upon my mother’s death bed
The spirit is gone
There’s no one home
No more breakfasts
No more afternoon teas
Her gasping breath belies her emptiness
Her person is gone behind those closed eyes
But the body lingers on gasping, gasping
For one last hopeless breath
But the doctors have all gone home to bed
You’re alone now inside your head
And soon now my mother you’ll be dead
We’re here to comfort you
We’re by your side
Let me hold your still warm hand
But it’s flaccid
There’s no response
The eyes are permanently closed
There’s only the gasping, gasping breath
As you draw closer and closer to death
We’ve all come to say our last goodbyes
Through weeping tear stained eyes
The only response is another gasping breath
The eyes are closed
The spirit is gone
What’s done is done
There’ll be no more smiles
No more good mornings
No more dawnings
No more sunsets
Just a few more gasping breaths
That’s all there is left of you
Your eyes are closed
There’s no one home
Let me hold your hand
Let me stroke your brow
Another gasping breath
Another tear is shed
Upon my mother’s death bed
THREE OF HEARTS UNTRUE 30/6/77
I think I’m afraid
To touch or feel
The closeness of a girl
My heart squirms
Stems from my youth
Love untrue
Thoughts in spite
Feelings trite
I think I might
Take a kite
Fly to the night
Once more a full moon
Wasted, untasted
My mother
I wouldn’t cuddle
All in a muddle
Too large a puddle
Of feelings tight
I sit and stare
Thoughts unshared
Feelings uncared
Face all marred
Body retard
A loose card
ALL STORIES HAVE A HAPPY ENDING
BOY, AM I GLAD IT’S NOT THE END OF MY STORY
Supernatural
Supercreator
Superman
Superwoman
Superchild
Superfather
Supermother
Superbrother
Superfriend
Superperson
Superlover
Superpatience
Superguidance
Superhumor
Superb
Jesus Christ
Holy spirit
God, I believe
THE CONTINUING STORY OF NO ONE 20/6/77
Love is finding the score is equal
Love is fighting a fight no one looses
Love is two minds at peace
Two hearts in harmony
A total acceptance
When you have love you’re fine
To drink brine and not drown
But when you’re all alone
Like a ship without a sail
A mind without a purpose
Living from day to day
Desperate floatings
A space so empty
Drifting to death
Painful sights, has no rights
Seen yet unseen
A sheen dulled to nothing
In a graying sunset
Sit and cry or watch TV
You’re not OK
The bees buzz fuzzily by
Yes, somehow that’s I
I’ve tried to be nice
Nasty phone calls
I’ve tried to be physical
Queer looks all over the room
A kick in the shins
No toothfull smiles
Persisting painfulness
Where’s my light
It’s gone again
Lost once more
In a jungle of girls
Sought and not found
Driven into the ground
Where do I go now?
To the stars?
To the hills?
No, I have no escape
A mind is impossible to rape
I don’t know how
I’ve watched the people who dance so smoothly
I’ve watched the people who talk so smoothly
I’ve sensed them all to rough for me
Do I expect too much?
I think not
For one day I know
It will snow
Not sleet
It will shine
Not soak
I will live
Not drift
So if you’re flitting by
Don’t look past me
Like an unshining star
Don’t walk past me
As if you’re blind
Won’t you stop
And take my hand
Show me the way
So I can open my eyes
Upon a bright sunny morn.
To feel the earth so warm
Then maybe, just maybe
I will wear a permanent smile
Upon my withered face
And put it back in place
I’m not all that vile
But I do seem to rile in pain too deep
Too much sleep I lack
So take me back
Whoever, wherever you may be
LOCKED AND CHAINED 12/7/77
A million good-byes
And they’re gone
The heater’s still there
Burning out its heat
The cassette wheels
Churning out their song
They’re all gone
Lights still bright
Stale cups of tea
A few forgotten biscuits
Lie crumpled on the table
There I stand all alone
It’s always the same
Day after day
When will it change?
And one person won’t go
Then I needn’t
Talk to myself
Walk with myself
Drink all alone
Think all alone
Thoughts prone
Disaster near
My head not clear
As if with beer
A luscious leer
Away I steer
To the back bush
Walk alone
The door locked and chained
My body lies unclaimed
In an uncertain hell
No words to spell
In the dungeons dell
An open courtyard
Washing lies cold
The stones so bold
I hate me
When I’m all alone
Cascading dreams
Of twirling creams
Pass sweetly by
And then I cry
A knock on the door means company
I sit patiently and wait evermore
They come in bundles
They leave in bundles
My thoughts they trundles on
And on and on and on
To the dreams so far away
And tomorrow’s another day
Might bring more cheer
More happiness and song
But always the doors close hard
The cassette wheels drone on and on
The light comes on whenever I switch
And the door always closes
No matter how hard I try
YOUR SHIP’S DOOM 9/5/77
I am a lonely rock
Stuck out in an ocean of pain and torture
Silent ships ram themselves to death
But what do I care
Slime and tears run off my side
Another twisted hulk
I have no need of friendship
Friendship only hurts
I follow no one
And no one follows me
I am the loneliest of rocks
Surrounded by menacing sharks
My smiles are lost upon the seagulls
Who stay only to shit upon my head
With a weary cry they fly
A passing ship beware my ugly head
A silent story read
But I’m all right, I have my bread
Ah look at me now
All you nasty people
I wear a head of prickles
would you dare to touch?
You know the way
But only one, to all my fortune
And who will be the next ship
Ha ha not one of you
You faithless chickens
Huddled all together
Safe and secure in little bundles of hate
You have an ugly fate
Who can caress my prickles and not get hurt?
Which one of you has enough dirt?
When will you have a spare shirt?
How can any one of you
Show the love I feel
For each and every one of you
Alas I am still a rock
You cannot penetrate
My thorns are growing
It hurts each time
you prick yourself
It hurts each time I die
My heart apart
In many pieces
All covered in
Human faeces
HOW LOVELY 5/8/77
How lovely is the flower
In its time of blooming
How lovely is the robin
As it flits upon the snow
How lovely is that snow
The purest white blanket
How lovely is the tree
A growing showing beauty is she
How lovely is the mountain
A rugged steadfast mass
How lovely is the lake
A shining mirror surface
On which to see your face
How lovely is the cloud
A fluffy floating paradise
How lovely are my friends
Not as lovely as you
How lovely is the sunrise
The break of a new day
How lovely is a smile
Well I’d run a mile
How lovely is love
It’s as lovely as you
And how lovely are you?
From the flower to the tree
From the mountain to the lake
You’re as lovely as they
But in a different way
TRAINS 27/4/77
Just sitting in my train station
Waiting for my train to come in
I’ve only been here for twenty years
Of course the train’s late
So here I am waiting for the lights to turn green
Watching the station attendants play with their girlfriends
Waiting for my train to come in
I look at the ground, filthy grubby yuck
I look at the air, filthy grubby yuck
And all the people, need I repeat?
Still waiting for my train to come in
Finally after forty days there’s a horn
A rattle, a bump, a squeak
A dilapidated thing lurches in along rusty rails
I look at the trash can, about as old, about as comfortable
So I’m standing in this thing as it glides along
Did I say glides, more like hiccoughs along
From side to side to side and up and up and down
I stumble and fall on some mice as they scurry by
Someone yells, a stomped on foot, one less standing
It jerks to a halt, someone screams, it’s his station
The door bursts open, two million people tumble out
One gets out, three million scramble back in
A convulsive leap and we’re moving
Well six hours later I’m standing in the train
Just waiting for the lights to turn green
Seen eight other trains overtake
But it doesn’t matter, we’re all late anyway
At last my station
I scream I yell, bite and scratch
Climbing over peoples heads, damn those mice
I fall upon the platform bag in left hand ticket in right
A burly attendant comes up to me
Demands my ticket
Wrong? It’s all wrong! Or am I?
Just sitting waiting for my train to come in
Back to my original post, back in time
About ten minutes later it rolls in
It’s on time, typical
Hopping onto a new silver
Reclining bucket seats
Ash trays in no smoking compartments
Expensive silent windows
We glide through the night
A jerk, we’re stopped, I swear
The driver apologizes
There’s been a derailment
I settle down to sleep
COULD YOU WOULD I DID YOU 16/5/77
Shifting feet
Trudge slowly by
Would you stop to help
But no
You break our heads
And smile as I die
A blindfold
The darkness you curse
Your feelings you nurse
And about me what do you care
You ask me to dine
In the presence of hatred
And a bare cold gets in the way
Then next week you visit alone
And come all full of smiles
To tell me your tale
Yet look into my eyes
And maybe you will stop
No
‘Tis time for me to fly
I stay here to long
My thoughts are dimming
My heart is screaming
With no one to answer my call
Come to my funeral if you dare
And you may see my peaceful face
And not my troubled gizzards
Like cold and evil lizards
I wait for another prey
To come their fruitful way
Ha! I’ll stop their woeful smiles
My face beguiles, riles in pain
Twisted torment, a fools lament
Behold, the hill of torture
Dare you to tread
On the grass so ugly
Would you smile
As knives pierce your heart
A bolt of lightning
My God it’s frightening
The sky is not brightening
The moon all gone
A shattered face
Grace, grace
Where’s my mace
And I’ll smash you to hell
No I don’t care if you stand in my way
I’ll smash you in the face
Out of my woeful lonely way
I cannot stay
Too many knives and claps of thunder
I see you with a smiling face
Envy a cursed vice
Lined in hate
I shuffle towards my fate
Link arms and come along
The grass is bound to be better
On the other side of life
Ha ha NO!
SANE RAMBLINGS
I’m not feeling too good today
Someone kicked my boot today
Someone took my hat today
And no one came to chat today
My conscience is all flat today
A momentary splat
And that’s that
No more laughing
All gone to grain
But the drums roll on
And she walks away
My head is bowed in May
Still, one day I’ll find my palace
Maybe I won’t be so callous
They’re all a pack of bastards
No feelings for a fool
For a momentary child
Who loves the wild
Who loves the mild
Would you stick your neck out?
Not a chance I know
I have no confidence
It lies with God
A squillion miles away
I’ve tried to walk the mirror
But people keep on shifting it
Jack Kresner
With a C and a K
But that’s not funny any more
Dampened by a lack of love
My heart’s to spare
There’s not much left of mine
It’s been chewed up somewhat
By people who couldn’t care
That’s neither here nor there
Pass an orchid and wonder in it’s beauty
Pass a beauty and wander quickly by
An orchid can’t hurt
Unless it’s thrown from a distance
Not one of us are Christians
Though we like to think we are
Because you just don’t care
Ho ho but beware
The magical snare
And as you fall into the pit
Watch out for my spit
Because no matter how far you shift
My little mirror
I know in my mind
To look out for reflections
NO 27/5/98
Empty promises
Empty words
Where is the joy in no
Where is the care in no
I can read between the lines
Too busy
Too tired
I can read between the lines
The carefully constructed no
There are no thrills in no
There is no peace in no
Can you read between the lines
Social suicide
Complete kamikaze
Death on the phone line
Letter bombs from hell
No
God I hate it
No
The final word
No
WITHOUT YOU 28/5/98
Like a bush walker with no boots
It hurts to walk without you
Like a car with no engine
I lack a driving force without you
Like an airplane with no passengers
There’s just no point going without you
Like the end of the day
The light goes out
The navigator seat is getting cold
There’s no one to take your place
The feather you kept is drying
Withering
Wilting
The green sweets sit waiting
Almost expecting to be eaten
It’s the little things I miss
The halo of your loose hairs
The flash of your beautiful eyes
The touch of your gentle hands
There’s no competition for the crunchy chips
There’s no one to snuggle close to at night
My heart doesn’t understand why you’ve left me
Why there’s no time to share with me
All of a sudden I’m not important
All of a sudden I’m alone
Nothing to share
Nowhere to go
Each new morning
Another gray day
My sunshine’s gone away
Forever there to stay
The bond is broken
I can find no glue
DEATH 1/6/98
Have you come to stalk me again
O Death thy sting is painful
There seems nowhere to run
Is it such a crime
To be in love again?
Again she has left me
Gone
With no compunction
No salve
No unction
My heart in chains
And so you come to haunt me
Jab at my soul
Haunt me in my sleep
Waking up exhausted
Dying through the day
Emptiness prevails
My very soul wails
Cries out in pain
Angry in eternal rain
And that dreadful specter
That phantom of fear
Crouching in the corner
Eroding my being by degrees
And so, here it comes
To drag me into the pit
Weakly kicking
The depths of depression
My love has died again
STILL A BULLDOZER 26/11/80
My diamond
My jewel
My bread and butter
Peanut butter
My lover
My wife
Someone lied
Said you’d make me a good wife
My passion fruit
My apple
My peach
Tangerine dream
Strawberries and cream
Someone sold me a lemon
I hung more than ten on your tree
Sore neck again
Bloody vampires!
Flowery campfires
Drowsy tall spires
Perched up on top
Gleefully swaying
Out of reach
Where hast thou gone?
Oh sweetness
Sugarplum
My heart is burning
Yearning, churning
Plum pie
Blue sky
In it bees drone
Don’t leave me all alone
Come home
My little caterpillar
Butterflies take time you know
And even cows have to sleep
THE TRAIN THAT STOPPED
Just seen a train come in
It carried no one but me
Just saw a plane take off
It took away some people I love
A cloud passed up above
A cloud passed though my head
The wheels still go around
My thoughts are still underground
I wear a smile
But it’s one notch down
I wear a grin
But it’s in the bin
And when I laugh
Well, that’s the end
YOU’RE NOT THERE
No song can be wrong
But then it’s gone
I’ve lost my love
Flown like a dove
To a solitary cove
Pieces of nine
Non of them mine
Trees full of hate
Flown out my garden gate
Music full of laughter
For here and ever after
Swing low from a rafter
Catch a passing dove
Missed again
They’re too fast
Material possessions
Ticket concessions
Hide flensings all dead and gone
Extreme extrapolations
Of an exponential nature
Show I’m not near God
But I have my peace
When I walk ’till four
And open God’s door
But I am me
It’s not enough
So I’m eight thousand miles from home
The train whistle’s blowing
No people are showing
Sand dunes and thorns
Wander on for ever more
Waterfalls still fall
The clouds still pass
I never go to Mass
Because God’s love is here with me
I’m no Christian
I feel it in my bones
There seems no way to happiness
I’ve found it’s not enough
I’m just not capable
I’ve tried too long
O God show me peace and love
They handed me a number
A pair of grotty gloves
spectacles to impair my vision
It showed no one loves
But God’s still there
They can’t take him away
Cushion full of flowers
Butterflies on the wall
Model of a dog
Even my stereo
They’re all diversions for me
I turn around and they’re not there
I touch a tree, touch God
I turn around and they’re not there
And as the dove recedes into the distance
All of a sudden it’s not there
RESEARCH 3/8/99
O crass and violent world
Cruelly vapid
Endlessly bombastic
Mondays bane
Tuesdays cane
Thoughts fled
Dreams bled
Nothing hale or whole resides
Ceaseless search for unbridled humanity
Cold shoulders
Cold hearts
Wednesday’s gone for ever
Thursday comes but once
In the dreams of for ever
Today is the final dance
Friday lasts for ever
Saturday never existed
Sunday was my final dance
Rewind
O crass and violent world
Vapidly cruel
Mondays gain
cold nights
This is the endless trance
Rewind
O crass …
Rewind
EXILE 7/11/78
A new car can’t bring anyone close
It doesn’t bring a knock on my door
So I guess the problem must be me
I’m just so down and out
No one on earth can feel me
My presence passes unknown
Silently slinking in the night
There’s no one now to turn to
Love has up and left me
I can see the looks on their faces
Oh no, not him again
My car will be a curse
As it sucks an empty purse
And no one will care
No one will share
Empty heart
Spent it all
Got nothing back
Tears in my eyes
Run out of words
My last resort
As I snuffle and snort
I need to find a fort
I can’t survive alone
I sit at parties
Put nothing in
Get nothing out
The usual people come over
Say the usual things
No new revelations do they bring
Tears in my soul
All around my heart
Is it any wonder
I’m so quick to anger
So slow to laughter
My forgotten emotion
Smiles have flown out the door
I’m left here so very poor
So very sad
A rotten egg
In a rotten town
Where people in their happy shells
And no bells upon their door
They won’t let me in
As if I’ve committed some eternal sin
But it wasn’t my fault!
That’s no reason to lock me in a vault
Then go and forget the combination!
No reason to leave me in the desert
Without a second course
Won’t someone give me another try
You will most surely regret it
I’m too young to die
To be a barren rock
Don’t I even deserve some lichen
Not even a speck of moss?
Forsaken am I
Unforgiven in my eternal hell
But to the devil I will not sell
Jesus must have my victory
‘Though it feels like he’s with them
Feels like he’s tossed me in the jungle
With no protection from all those fell creatures
They rip and tear my soul
My pride and ego they ran off with
So often I’ve been bashed in the head
I just want a nice soft bed
That’s all I want
A nice soft sleep
CHRISTMAS MOST FOUL
That time of year
Kids love it
Goody goody greedy
Time for swims at the beach
Long vacations to Queensland
A time for giving
The time for love
We give to our family
Give to our friends
as we would give to Him
Though sometimes we forget
Amongst the Christmas jungle
The gaudy bawdy bangles
True meaning we strangle
Pure perfumes
Degraded to noisome fumes
We’ve lost the star
As we lounge at the bar
Swilling amber muck
A time for making a fast buck
I really don’t know how
We got caught up
In all these pointless customs
They’re so far from the meaning
How did a small baby
Get twisted to a fat red ho ho?
Dealing in merchandise
Not in the spirit
Why does this society
Commercialize everything
Can’t it leave a religious festivity alone?
The birth of Christ means more than toys
More than a roast fowl
SELLING
Catchy jingles
Fancy words
Garbage filled adjectives
We got the best
We got the fastest
You can’t go past us
Gaudy pictures
Luscious ladies
The beautiful gentlemen
Innocent children
Sell themselves
On painted pictures
FATAL FAKE MISTAKES 29/10/77
I’m feeling all funny
Feeling all fuzzy
Tired of traveling
Tired of sitting still
Flattened in love
Battered in life
People just don’t know
What’s the use
Absolutely nothing
Dig me a grave
Call the undertaker
Up like a fission bomb
Around and disappeared
I’ve heard love songs pretty
Heard them sad
But they make me mad
At least they’ve had
It’s what I lack
No I’m not slack
I just don’t know
Lots of friends there blow
Love is like a distant snow field
Apathy is here
A lingering pain I wield
I’ve seen all kinds of people
Some of them nice
They smile for a while
Fires not kindled
A major blaze not there
My heart is dwindled
Away I steer
Seek my precedent
Who would kill a snake
Or a garden would rake
I tell you they’re fake
Fake face we make
All a mistake
Extra thumbs
Soft bums
Hearts don’t hum
They never meet
No matter how close we dance
EMPTY KNIGHT 30/10/99
An uncertain Dulcinea
A deadly Loreley
A shimmering chimera
Resting on the laurels of Loreley
A bloody arbitration room
Where’s my Ghandi
A silent wail escapes into the night
My tortured soul wanders aimlessly away
I think not one has reached the heart of God
But I hear the enemy laughing every day
Irrefutable verbs
Abject adverbs
Adjacent to adverse adjectives
Forgotten objectives
Stories of a fundamental me
Roses aren’t always red
Violets are only sort of bluish
I’m just a sociological blooper
Relying on technological bleepers
An illogical snooper around the edges of life
I need a revelation revolution
Where white becomes pure
And shit still stinks
Where God becomes real
Not some abstract obscene adjective
All I can see is dwindling to death
I don’t have zero on the Nero meter
Moments pass irrevocably by
Wasting precious seconds
Dithering in the doldrums
Withering day by day
Week by agonizing week
Dwindling into ineffectiveness
I can’t see reality
Only futility
A vague shimmering
An empty room
A withered rose
I cry
I die
BREAKDOWN 11/12/77
It’s a lonely life
For such as me
I’m a Christian
Who finds peace with God
But not his fellow beings
And one day I’ll fly
I’ll spread my wings
And you’ll never see me again
My tears all rain
For those I love
And never returned
Though showed never why
I came back here to cry
My funny little pen
Writes out these lines
But you put the ones on my forehead
I’m too old before my time
Huh, what do I care
Hell, what have I ever had
Except of course a God
And oh boy is it true
When he said pseudo love
Good God was it ever true
She got up to hit him
But I could have kissed him
Oh boy was he true
I guess I’ve never felt loved
And if I did it was only my palm
No I paddle my own canoe
Cos when I get near
They always sink me
The same one
He took my sixth
Stole another of my life
Didn’t give me a chance
Jumped and I went under
Yes just another blunder
My brain sounded like thunder
In my pants there was chunder
As I walked through the seaweed
They called me a statue
But that dance did I freak out
No I just span out
My wings just collapsed
My life just collapsed
Oh God I’m dead
I’ve been dead for so long
They all think I’m alive
They all think I’m free
But I pick up a knife
And I feel like killing
I clench my fist
And I want to hit out
I drive my car
I see a cliff
And then it’s gone
I want to scream
I need to shout
But here I am
With a silly little pen
And little bunny poo poos
Who knocks field mice on the head
Got turned into a goon by a good witch
I wish I could switch
All I do is twitch
And more tears roll onto my paper
It will soon be too wet to write
That fucking fog machine again
O God please turn it off
GOD you’ve got to turn it OFF
Right now
Right here
Don’t say no
I can’t stand no’s
And then I calm down
The tears stop rolling
I sniffle, blow my nose
With one there just for that purpose
Maybe mutter a huh as I laugh
Look at my hands
This little bed
My four square walls
I realize I just had a trauma
A fit of some sort
Snort, Put my pad down
Turn off the light
For a hopeless night’s sleep
WILL YOU NEVER COME TO REALIZE
How could I ever tell you
I love you
You put me in boxes
Four walls of pain
Rocking my brain
I want to run to you
Hold you
But you’d push me away
What can I say
What can I do
I love thee madly
Badly
Sadly
Always looking
Yearning for a smile
But you send me away
Set me up
To knock me down
You’re not so blind
I know you can see
But not me
I’m shut behind closed walls
Won’t you set me free
I long to be me
Judged me useless
Unfit
Yes it’s true I’m a bum
And maybe I don’t deserve
I’m sick of playing reserve
Sick of always loosing
Tired of never choosing
Just dead
Like a piece of putty
Maybe just a little nutty
Needing bread
Nothing said
Though each time you reject me
My eyes should tell you
The torture you inflict on me
My God knows I love you
Yet still you kick me to dust
‘Till I’m just about to burst
I spit and curse
Dreams all shattered
But what do they matter
Oh hell, I wish I could say it better
But there’s no way I could tell her
I’m lost
I’m lonely
I need some love
But she spits on my heart
Will I never get a clean start
Will I never
I’ll never get to sing and laugh
Just to cry and weep
All the feelings I have
All crammed up inside
Waiting for her yes
Then like a flood
A rush of clean blood
My blood I die
Won’t I ever taste clean love
Pure love
Sweet sweet love
Won’t you set me free
Out of these tin walls
To balls and bush
Diamonds and love
From heaven above
But all I feel is rain
I cover my head
And it’s rapidly
So very rapidly
Filling up my little box
Like a knight in distress
Who would be my heiress
But I’m doomed to die
In the desert
With rain falling
Soaking the ground
So I can’t be found
No sound
Pitter patter
I grovel in the gravel
Seeking to quench my thirst
I bump a tin wall
I turn to face another
And another
Surrounded
Fenced in
I die
No one came
THE ROCKS 1/6/78
The filthy disgusting lusting
Beware the dark lord entrusting
His sharp spear ready for thrusting
Deep into your heart he flows
To throw you upon those rocks
Those rocks of doom and death
Where all day long not a breath
Beware his eyes ever watching
His touch you cannot feel
But his breath is hard upon your shoulder
Is heavy and hard as a boulder
Oh he’ll send you to those forsaken rocks
And there you’ll lie to smolder
Beware his tricks
His thieving conniving tricks
He’ll lure you in
Send you into a spin
From which you’ll never return
A screeching yelling din
Are those rocks of death and doom
Where there’s not enough room
In the filth and grime
To pick up a lost dime
No my friend there’s not enough time
To be lingering in his presence
He’ll give you no presents
No he feels no love for you
He’ll just send you to his rocks
He laughs to see you on the rocks
Your twisted battered body
Ho ho how he laughs to see your death
How he laughs to see you depressed
All dazed and confused
That’s when you’ll turn his way
Without ever knowing
And then it’s too late
He’ll send you to his rocks
Those rocks of death and doom
ONLY ONE MORE DREAM 5/10/78
Empty dreams
A soaring flight
All dead end dreams
Or so it seems
Dirty creams
Un-mellow yellow
No delight
Is a drooping daffodil
Or a heart so tight
Yet so unfulfilled
No pill to pop
In my empty dreams
They come they go
Increasing in flow
All my dead end dreams
Unending plight
Sad sorrow night
A tearful creamy pillow
I’m sitting as a willow
Curled up in my dreams
Hoping yet moping
With my foolish fantasies
Of peace and love
Found in my hours of slumber
And turn out an ugly cucumber
Sucking on my towers
‘Till down they do tumble
Making my heart so humble
Then my head begins to crumble
And goes rolling down the dreams
‘Till the streams and streamers
Steamers or the cleaners
They’re all so utterly gone
The long fair hair
That smile so radiant
All gone
THE GRAPEMARE
I woke up this morning
To the sound of the Galahs
I stumbled in for breaky
And grumbled at the cook
For he’d let the milk curdle over night
Then burnt the toast
For we have no roast
And sweet Jesus I felt like a fight
But like good mates
We cleaned our plates
Then made it to the vines
Before the seven o’clock chimes
And hacked away at the grapes
When the boss made it down
By half past eight
We shouted “We need more tins”
But he turned his back
And brought our morning tea
Now we sit in the shade
And hurl our abuse
About fishing and bowls
And all that we knows
Then we stagger through morning
‘Till the end of dawning
And “Yo” It’s time for lunch
Now lunch is a special affair
It’s milk
It’s coke
Lemonade
Staminade
Orange
And quench
Solids have we none
For we’re too far gone
And only a hundred up are we
So in the heat of the day
With grim forlorn faces
We out to the fields commences
And it’s sweat slog argue
And of course pick
‘Till we here from afar
“Yo three hundred up”
As Charley drives off with his girl
Our faces fall lower
And the sweat seems to pour
‘Till a lowly two fifty and more
Then it’s back to the shack
For some milk
For some coke
Lemonade
Staminade
Orange
And quench
Solids have we none
For we’re too far gone
As we collapse in our chairs for the feast
We decided one night
Instead of a fight
We’d swim to New South Wales
So we piled into Ken’s car
And tore to the Murray
And in there we drowned our pains
For our fingers are slashed
And those three corner jacks!
Well they leave you fair deadened and lame
Though it seems that we are
We’re not headed for fame
Just some milk
Just some coke
Lemonade
Staminade
Orange
And quench
Solids have we none
Because we’re always too far gone
And as we sink blissfully to sleep
We think we’re like sheep
Just following those rows
And have night mares about grapes
But when we wake up in the morning
With banana shaped backs
That infernal fridge clattering away
And above it all a bunch of Galahs noisily squawking
We realize the grapemare was true
THE CRUNCHY CHIP SYNDROME 1/4/98
Fax 1- delete
Cankerblossom
Shakespeare is dead
Inside my head
Inside my soul
Delete
She changed the rules
Delete
Her name’s not right
Inside my soul
Delete!
Subconscious poison
Old fears lie unresolved
Beating up my soul
Sleepless nights
Unfair dreams
Delete
O putrid mire
Unfaithful part
I say delete
O rank infestation
Vile remembrance
Wretched soul
Delete I say delete!
Fax 2 – save
Rose of my life
Even Shakespeare could do you no justice
Inside my head
Inside my heart
You will live forever
Save
No matter what you do
Save
I know your name
Inside my heart
Save
Precious ally
I remember your face with smiles
I wear your name with pride
I touch your fingers with joy
I hold you close with care
Save
Save as
Memories – good
IT’S ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS 31/6/80
Botanical bums
Satanic sludge
Photographic fantasies
The guitar goons
Red eyed brooms
Sweep mysteries away
Sword cut slay
Nailed to stay
Boring bells
Sinking wells
Stomach swells
Ignomania chills
Swishing collecting
Washing collating
Floating
Waterfall fell
Deep bubbles
Unstable canoes
Cordially sink
Axe chop toes off
Barbecue Lligrehtof
Mad horses
Swelling towards an eternal dynasty
Smelling sweet scents of cynicism
Paper guns pointed poignantly
Pointless pencils writing nothing
Thin air supporting emptiness
Empty hollows need some filling
Rotting stench
Uncut trench
Decaying teeth
Boils and bastards
Trials and last ones
Suckle death
Gaunt millions
Trudge an endless inquiry
What can I eat tomorrow?
CARING 6/12/77
Are you caring
People are despairing
Their hearts repairing
Me no daring
Throat not clearing
Lord not fearing
No one’s cheering
But they’re all peering
Nothing to see in
Except lonely me
My Lord in a tree
But I’m free
If thou art thee
And you’re with me
I’m then happy
Off I go hoppy
Near heart shopping
Never no stopping
Always groping
Hopes grouping
Ruts scoring
Never daring
Heart repairing
Me despairing
Who are you caring
THE SPELL 21/5/81
Dreamy days filled with air
Dozy nights empty of all thoughts
Drifting through life
Like it doesn’t really matter at all
Reading a fantasy book
Piped music flowing softly in my ears
Nothing to worry about
Just rolling from one day to another
No clear division in between
Safe and secure in my little bubble
Floating down a dreamy river
Soft fogs caressing my cheeks
Cloudy visions, Hazy illusions
No sharp intrusions
Just soft feathers brushing my brain
Where nothing of importance ever comes
And now lies dormant on a sandy shore
The maggots there in do bore
But I don’t really care
I’ve paid my fare
Done my bit already
Now it’s an endless happy holiday
The world can look after itself for a while
Can do without my bickering
Yes it’s a sunny day in my head at last
I don’t want my peace disturbed too soon
I’ve had my fill of hurt and hurting
I don’t want to hear of people dying
Splattering themselves to death
For pointless semi-religious reasons
I don’t want to hear about
The hungry, the poor, the diseased
Unemployed, the worms and sadists
The cruel that rule
Tyrannics and maniacs
I don’t to hear
Do you Hear!
AGH!
I’ve broken the spell
What sort of Christian am I anyway?
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 14/12/82
We all too quickly lash another’s feelings
Yet can’t understand we we are so lashed
No one is quick to realize that it’s just a human fault
No parent is perfect in their judgement
No child escapes their parents attack
No person is without fault and anger
So instant resentment can be expected
Neither party should be allowed to insult
Neither should they strike a blow
to vent their injured feelings
Complaints are often justified
And should be used as a key
To test the dealers motives and cause
And to all the stringent matter should apply
Does the punishment fit the crime
THE MICKEY MOUSE GUTTER GETTER 9/10 80
OR CONFETTI IN MAJOR BLUES
Mickey Mouse
Minestrone
Minnie Mouse
Mini minor
Stately Manor
Lately clamor
Slatey armor
Spaghetti armchair
Confetti filled hair
Mouse and mouse
Bells in the air
Streamers in the house
Stumble over the threshold
Woeful night
Dither with a zither
Tongue twister
Gutter getter
No hope
Like a bug around a tree
The will to be free
In the darkness grope
Got to get there
Make a fine pear
Juice filled zither
Peaceful light
And don’t trip
Like steamers at a waterfall
Boats in the air
No, water to water
Spray filled hair
Spaghetti at the table
Iron armor clanging
A nice cottage by the sea
Subaru and me
Xanadu and tree
Lasagna
Mickey Mouse
TANKS ARE FROM HELL 27/9/80
My God they’re big
They just keep coming
Like a weapon from Hell
Larger than life
Squashing all who stand before
Can’t we stop them?
O Jesus help us
Save us from these monsters
It’s coming for me
Straight towards me
I can’t move
Fire flames spurting
Death cascading
Clunking caterpillar tracks
Munching up the bones
It’s nearly got me
Somebody kill it
Closer closer
Pounding guns
Blasting sharp shrapnel
Bits of death
Burning the open flesh
Heat stabbing
And the noise
Confusing cavalcade
Resounding shatter
Blinding flash
Arms and legs torn apart
Black
MODERN CONVERSATIONS 27/3/94
No
No no’s
But…
No buts
But…
Just do it
No
No no’s
But…
No buts
But…
It’ll feel good
No
No no’s
But…
No buts
But…
It’s cheap
Okay
OF RIVERS, OF TREES, OF CAMPFIRES 19/9/99
The late afternoon sun glints on the Darling river
My tent is pitched on the edge of the bank
The Little Friarbirds are calling rrish-coo rackety crookshank
The late sun now catches the top of the River Red Gums
A gentle campfire sets my dinner gurgling nicely
Its glow is reflected off the River Red Gum
Over head the moon now paints the Darling into a silvery strand
A Mopoke calls gently in the distance
The glowing embers cast a mesmerizing spell into the silence
A sweet gentle breeze wafts the smoke, rustles the leaves
With my belly full I doze in the gloaming
Here there is peace with no intrusion
I have escaped once more the mad rush of humanity
Snug in my sleeping bag I drift off to sleep
The road’s been long and dusty, full of ruts and rocks
Now the last glimmer of light fades from the day
My tent is pitched by a dry nameless creek bed
The Curl snake slithers quietly through the Saltbush
As the warm northerly breeze slowly edges to stillness
The last tinkling reel of a White Wing Blue Wren finishes
A friendly campfire sets my dinner bubbling nicely
Its glow is reflected off a lone stately Coolibah Tree
Overhead the moon casts an effulgence over the desert rocks
There is silence, save that quiet flutter of flick’ring flames
With my belly now full I doze in the gloaming
Here there is peace with no intrusion
I have escaped once more beyond the madness of humanity
Snug in my sleeping bag I drift off to sleep
THE WORLD NEEDS GREENIES 5/4/18
The world needs greenies
To act as a conscience
To defend what little is left of the wilderness
To defend the defenseless
To stop the human perpetrated extinctions
To counter the red-necks
To counter unsustainable development
To counter political expediency
To counter short term profits
To stop the rampant destruction
To stop the endless pillaging
To start turning this ship around
This world needs greenies
Whether the rest of you like it or not
THE DAY I WENT OVER THE HILL AN BACK AGAIN 14/8/86
At the first crack of dawning
There came a solemn warning
A deep buzzing, a muzzing in my head
“Oh help” I said “It’s the day of the dead”
The great turning of the wheel
A slight tilting of the spiel
And I fell out of bed
Fingers fumbling and eyes of red
Ablutions dutifully done
I shambled out of home
The sky was red with warning
But in my van I was soon warming
Dozing down the freeway
Singing “I did it my way”
And if I recall Correctly
I only cursed once directly
Before stumbling into work
But my secret was safe
I mean, tell the wolves
The state of the lonely lamb?
I guess the day passed rather normally
‘Till late in the evening
I crumbled across the threshold
Tidied myself into a chair
And opened my parents card
Now other patrons were at large
And pounced on me unsuspecting like
They cooked my dinner
And served me royal
And generally let me fall asleep
There was a peck from some lady
And a grip from some gentleman
And I was left to die in the sands
And as the enemy rolled by
I thought to myself by and by
Or is it merely sell?
There’s only two words to describe this
“I’m tired”
And rolled off towards bed
Whilst dutifully ablutionating
There came a sort of nagging
An edging of the brain
The day hadn’t been completed
Some essential gleaming hadn’t taken place
No line was written from the book of Luke
No broadening of the mind from the words of Jesus
Oh rats oh pooh
I muttered some sane and pointless prayers
And promptly fell off to sleep
Another year older
ON BLOOD AND SMOKE AND PEACEFUL POLICEMEN 20/9/77
[ A CAR ACCIDENT]
Decor decor before we fall
Powerful flower full
My surprised reprise
All exorcised
A tyrey mire
A node on the road
Blue person slipping
Sipping death slowly
Roley poley down the stairs
Lose all your hairs
Off in pairs
We stand and stare
Police all peaceful
Ambulance perambulator
We’re all there staring
Condemn the boredom
Bind and lined done blind
Ferocity, increased velocity
Then slam on the brakes
But God we makes
And in the end it’s the same
With no one to blame
So squirm worm
You’ll never learn
She was lucky I think
But her coat of mink
Certainly did no good
Then it came in a flood
A rush of mud
The klaxon clicked on
Her mind was all gone
And formless she lay
But I did not slay
A dark horse’s shade
In the everglade
And no bed made
One less to worry
All thoughts in a flurry
To the door we scurry
And no concessions
For firsts or seconds
In an elevator
To a whisper of a new bloke
A crisper and new Mini Moke
Thick to choke
Red Lights flashing
Police all peaceful
Ambulance perambulator
We’re all there staring
TWO TRUE TO PEACE 19/3/98
Bright new light
Meets dark dusty road
Convergence
Emergence
A brand new bud
I hope it’s not a dud
Twenty four karat gold
Joins tarnished silver
A melting pot
No trace of rot
A brand new alloy
Precious ally
Lively dance diva
Mingles with wordsmith
Neuvaux art form
Pop up tart foam
A brand new dart board
Virgin bulls eye
Score? Nil all
Peace
WHEN I’M ALONE 6/2/98
Within the bright stars shining
I remember you
Throughout the joy of sun rising
I remember you
In the dark city dungeon
I remember you
Amongst the ugliness and pain
I remember you
If I call out your name
Will you remember me?
When I’m alone and dying
Will you remember me?
FAIR WIND 1/3/98
A fair wind drives me from the west
The sun rises in the east
Beckons
It is time to be gone
Cast off these cumbersome shackles
These fiendish fetishes
Noisome bangles
You have come at last
The touch of your eyes
Brings light to my heart
The sound of your voice
Sends rivers of joy through my soul
And the smile on your face
Brings colour to the fabric of my being
You are truly beautiful
Come my love
We must away
My mighty steed chomps at the bit
Pawing the dark dusty earth
Eager to carry us to parts unknown
You need have no fear
Whilst we are near
You feed me strength
To face the day anew
And figh on those
Who would bar our way
Pressing us to stay
For love knows no bounds
Sets no rules
Has no keeper
Set God alone
And He has ordained us from the start
He and His steady Art
Have brought light into my heart
And peace enough to fart
Oops, sorry
Come, we must depart
ALONE 16/5/98
Darkness falls
An evil blanket covering my soul
She’s not here
Another gray day
Leaden sky laden with stormy gloom
She’s not here
Wandering aimlessly in no mans land
Stumbling hopelessly in featureless sand
She’s not here
Hello?
Where are you?
She’s not there
The phone rings endlessly
My heart rends painfully
She’s not there
AN OLD OLD MAN 25/12/81
Christmas cheer seems sour
Seasons joy’s been jilted
And peace is splattered on the walls
But through these shattered dreams
Comes an old old man
He’s spreading his rosy grin all over the world
Singing songs of praise and glory
He’s giving gifts worth the world
And he’s telling an old old story
As he speaks there’s a saintly glow in his eyes
Enchanting impelling
Brings a choking tear into your eyes
Brim full and welling
He seems to settle gently on your mind
Words of bliss you cannot find
And he’s praying for you right now
He’s praying God’s grace will find a nesting place in your heart
ANGEL DREAMING
I was the thought of a great horse gray horse
I was the fault of a wandering minstrel
I was the product of a parents potent potion
I was betrothed to a fog bound dog hound
I was born of a wizard’s weird worms
The short fat ones slipped and tickled
I met a merry pelican in the breeze
And together we sailed the seven seas
And what a beautiful bird was she
As we sailed the seventh sea
Now she’s made especially for me
And I’ve been known to be free
Up sprouted the most beautiful tree
I’ve heard the merriment felt the tears
Touched the cherry meant for cheers
Even seen a few deers
I’ve been given an IQ
Been classed as neurotic
I guess I’ll become hysterical
And then I’ll be historical
Or at least a grave stone
Though few I think will cry
I’ll be a brave bone
Then I’ll be gone
Too soon I hope
But can never know why
My pelican’s scope
Doesn’t reach quite that far
Not done in dope
Nor rotten to the core
But on a slope
I’ll sit and cry
Maybe in my car
I’m not too sure at all
No bird will come by
Tomato sauce comes easily
Hearts go down too quick
No one knows the trick
God plays teasily
Trumpets all fanfare
But who would care
Save of course the devil
Who put me in this peril
Something here
Something there
Nothing nowhere
Nothing piped nothing triped nothing wiped
Something warped something tarped something sparked
Over there sparing there caring there snaring
It’s here loving
That’s all we need
No greed, sit on a tall still hill
No need for a waterfall useless pill
And all will be well or maybe try
At least it’s better than a pig sty
I fear it’s what we’re in now
It’s near about to blow
We just cannot stow
So let your love roll
Knock me down in a ball
Into the abyss we fall
For a kiss I stall
Just blow my mind
Love all so blind
Blew the mist
Shrouding haze
Beautiful phase
Fantastic please
Oh yes cheese
Around and around
On my knees
Epistles burst
Colours abound
Flitting flapping
Clipping clopping
Clip clop to the stairs
Forward we try
Doors all open
Fresh summer breeze
Oh look it’s my merry pelican
Come to take my please
I know only she can
It’s only me, I love you
Lost on a silvery pelican
Gracefully glide
Sail with pride
Not too vain
No need to explain
It’s all too clear
No need for fear
Cos Jesus came
No need to name
It’s not the same
No need to claim
It’s all done so neatly
No need for a plan
Cos only God can
He loves us all so sweetly
Pelicans all angels
Flutter past my shutter
Fling it wide open
No need for a pen
Flowers reaching up
But He’s already there
So don’t you despair
Just heave a beautiful smile
God always loves you
Scratch it on the dunny wall
Send it to the funny hall
We’re going to have a ball
You and I, so don’t stall
You know we love you all
You’re not vile no not at all
No not mine
I cannot climb
I shot a pheasant
It was so pleasant
As it reached for the sun
To reach its ideals
I curbed them still
As you did mine
No race to reach the top
Jesus made me stop
And my heart went pop
Into the water, plop
Ha ha plip plop hop hop
Laugh giggle google
Cackle cackle
Crackle in my heart
Flip flop, flip flap
Heaven is mine
It’s yours too
Made for me and you
My pelican and me
Laugh and let it show
Let the pheasants know
Let’s listen to the music
God’s words soothe my soul
A smoothing crooning bowl
Not a loud din howl
The devil emits
It fits like mitts
Snug and warm
Ho ho God’s love is enough
Though yours is a help
It’s all a help
Much needed yelp
Through God’s love
I can trust you
Like so few I knew
And now I’m bust
But who is you?
There’s only God there
And my poor little car
Who’s taken me far
No you is there
It must be here
So here I must stay
After all my meanderings
After all my uselessness
My useless pain
I will return
Here I may find
A shirt open
A heart to be shared
A mind to be cared
My muscle has died
It just up and died
Frizzled and fried
Thank goodness not grilled
My heart was filled
And now it’s leaking
My mind is freaking
Help me I need
I need a pelican
God’s love decreed
I need to be freed
And to be binded
To be bounded to you
Gone up the flu
Out the spout
Around the bend
A letter me spend
Penny me spend
Too weak I am
Run over a tram
Caught by a pram
Oh it was so prim
I sprayed it with Vim
And there you were
Here we were
All in a dream
When will it end
A real pelican will send
I want to die
All I do is cry
My oh my
To just up and die
What bliss
My arse to kiss
A merry goodnight
VISCID VISCERA ATTEMPTING TO FETTLE THE FOOTLE 28/4/00
Building fences
To keep out the poverty
Building walls
To keep in the selfishness
No paths to enlightenment
No bridges to peace
Crouching in the corner
Crunching out my individuality
Faking freedom
Am I some fettered Caliban?
Just a fetid Caganer?
Sinking into somnolence
Sliding on endless surfaces
Holding the emptiness at bay
Somnambulating every day
Is there no gentle sea-change?
A moment of joy
A glimpse of peace
Reminders of life
Passed away
Building offensive walls
Erecting defensive fences
Tangled in the barbed wire boundary
Strangled by protracted silences
Perfectly pernicious
Insidious perfidy
Your fabricated prevarications
Tear through my soul
Cold pricklies abound
No warm fuzzies around
Bereft of life and limb
Basking in the frigid gloom
Just another leptophalic dweeb
Searching in the river Lethe
Another nemesis
For my continued hubris
LIFE ON THE LINE
White line
White line
White line
White line
White line
White line
Toe the line
White line
White line
White line
White line
White line
Sign on the line
White line
White line
White line
White line
Toe the line
White line
White line
White line
Sign on the line
White line
White line
Stop sign
White line
Concrete block
Red line
Red line
Red line
Red line
Red line
Red line
Red line
You’ve gone too far
MARCH OF DEATH 1/3-1/4/2000
First
A thousand people drown in Mozambique
Sadness
Second
Boy shoots girl in American school
Outrage
Third
Boy drowns during cyclone in northern Australia
Empathy
Fourth
Young mother and daughter die in car crash, Moorabin
Waste
Fifth
Israelis kill seventeen guerrillas in Lebanon
Justice, yet somehow guilt
Sixth
Eric Smith dies
Who?
Seventh
Mass murderer Pinochet set free
Bloody hell!
Eighth
Dame Roma Mitchell dies
Well she had a great innings
Ninth
Fire fighter kills wife, burns house, shoots his mates who turn up to put it out
Unbelievable
Tenth
Nineteen kids die in Tuvalu school fire
Tragic loss of potential
Eleventh
Hippo One Ausie honeymooner Zero
Another careless tourist bites the dust
Twelfth
Mine farts and kills eighty in Ukraine
Ah shit eh?
Thirteenth
Twenty killed by premature Tamil Tiger Bomber
Cretin
Fourteenth
No ones death made the news today
It’s a miracle
Fifteenth
They killed the vet instead of the tiger
There’s an irony there somewhere
Sixteenth
I kill three hundred Russians
Yes!
Seventeenth
Pakistani child murderer to be strangled
Nothing like a bit of comeuppance
Eighteenth
Five year old duck killer drowns
Isn’t it a bit young to kill, to die, I mean, come on, really
Nineteenth
Four hundred plus in Uganda mass suicide/murder because the world is still here
How do people get suckered into these things, are people really that gullible?
Twentieth
Five die as car smashes into two trucks
Just a few more to add to the never ending road toll
Twenty first
Both Russians and Chechins die in Chechin war
Israelis kill Palestinian woman
Muslims massacre thirty six Sikhs in Kashmir, that’s the whole village
Some of those hopeless spots where a brutal death is the norm
Twenty second
Hit and run driver kills cyclist
Bastard, I’m glad I don’t ride my bike much any more
Twenty third
I lost count of the number of deaths in the movie
A minor rise in adrenaline as I see semi believable deaths
Twenty fourth
Another truck kills more motorists as it flattens car
Jesus, that could be me one day
Twenty fifth
More smashed cars and squashed pedestrians
Eight people less on Aussie roads, it must be the weekend
Twenty sixth
Old women dying in house fires, and people drowning with no life savers around
Yawn
Twenty seventh
They reckon thirteen million people die of smoking related illness each year
Why the hell do people do this to themselves, it’s idiocy
Twenty eighth
Tourist chopper flight kills six in New Zealand
Why do I need to know this?
Twenty ninth
Eleven die in Austrian avalanche
Two die in American tornado
Two kids die as train rams bus
They must think people are interested in the deaths of people they don’t know
Thirtieth
One hundred killed as two overloaded buses collide in Kenya
That’s an amazing figure for two vehicles crashing
Thirty first
False prophets look as if they managed to kill Eight hundred people in Kenya
Repeat of famine in Ethiopia looms
There is an overload of death, in the end the facts become mute
First of April
My grandmother dies
Shit
DEATH OF A TEDDY BEAR 15/9/00
Want
Greedy needy
Golum golum
That looks easy
Take that
Will be mine!
Snaky sneaky
Break in
Golum golum
Greasy sleazy intrude
Sliding winding invade
Golum golum
Take this
Take that
Mine!
Golum golum
Eh?
Discovered!
Iron bar
Thunk
It’s dead!
Panic flee
Running hide
Golum golum
Corner cringing
Whinging grovel
Snivel
Nasty little teddy bear
Not supposed to be there
Spoil what’s mine
Want more
Golum golum
Drool
Hiss
Want
VEILED AND SHIELDED 23/1/78
Veiled from life to see
Shielded from wife to me
Veiled from the Devil
Shielded by my God
Covered in his love
Surrounded by air
Covered in hair
Surrounded a fluttering dove
Spider on the wall
A web will he weave
To catch the unwary fly
To keep me free
Stop light at the corner
It should warn her
Inside is warmer
Inside is calmer
You can walk through the walls
Even through the web
If you know the right way
You must wear no veil
Your shield must be the right one
Covered by His love
Surrounded by His glove
Veiled from strife at sea
Shielded from death to me
WHO STOLE MY HAVEN?
What’s the good of heaven
If I have no home
What’s the good of heaven
If we’re all in hell
What’s the good of heaven
If it’s only a hope
Who stole my heaven
my peaceful haven
SO DEEP INSIDE THAT I DON’T FEEL HAPPY 7/8/78
It’s always been the year after
I still cannot hear the laughter
No I don’t feel happy
I need a nappy for my eyes
Crying over this
Crying over that
Love has escaped me
All she did was rape me
No I don’t feel happy
I’m getting a new job
But no difference will it make
At night I’ll still lie awake
And sweet Jesus will not return
I think I’m destined to burn
No I don’t feel happy
I think God’s plan is cruel
Upon my hurtful hateful soul
I can see all my problems
When I lay them all out in front
Strength is what I need
Strength I have not got
I’m destined to rot
No I don’t feel happy
People tell me I must be positive
That I’m really not that bad
But when your breaking off
With someone that’s deep inside
Then boy does the world seem rotten
I spit on myself
I’m too much a snob
Yet too much a yob
I’m worried for all and everyone
Yet I couldn’t give a damn
I’m too spiritual for people
Yet not enough for God
There’s no where for me to go
No I don’t feel happy
My parents never loved me
Now I know they did
My girlfriend always loved me
yet her love was not enough
My friends say they love me
Yet they just sat back and talked
In may I say a most benign manner
My God said he loves me
But I think he’s worse than all the rest
He promised me peace
He promised me joy
He promised me new life
He promised me forgiveness
And much and many more
If his love I did employ
Surely he must know my situation
Surely he understands that I try
Yet still he hides so deep inside me
That it’s a place I cannot find
There is no way that I can be happy
Until that place in me is reached
WISHING 2/4/81
I wish life could be like the movies
The lovers ride off into the sunset
Take two and everything comes out perfect
I wish life could be like it is in songs
Sweet words and music mix a special potion
Rehearse and rehearse and it comes out perfect
I wish life could be like my imagination
Just you and me crunching along the seashore
Dream again and everything comes out perfect
I wish life could be like it is in the bible
Me and God in close communion together
Read and read and it comes out perfect
NO HOME JUST ETERNITY AND PAY
Wish I had a place I could call my home
Just a little place to call my own
But I’m growing up so alone
O I’ve got my love but she ain’t my home
So I’m just rambling through the streets of eternity
Just crawling though the mall of maternity
Everywhere I look there is no fraternity
I guess you could say I was sick of eternity
I go to work to collect my pay
Though given a chance with my love I’d stay
But I know she don’t feel that way
So I guess I’ll keep on collecting my pay
WE REMEMBER YOU MUM 14/9/80
I don’t think I’d like it
To stand over her grave
To know that she was down there
I’d want to shovel it all out
And let the spirit free
I guess it’s not easy to accept
One day live, next day dead
The mortal skin she has shed
And after the last scripture read
Maybe a few tears bled
Just remembering
The fight she had
The joys
The growing
Wishing somehow
You could take out all the nasty bits
And be rid of them
But now she’s gone
You remember
Every little bit
You remember
This day in the middle of September
When the flowers first burst their petals
You remember
The voice it will stay forever
The little things she used to say
Her happiness and joy
‘Till the end of her days
Her courage and beauty
In the face of adversity
We all remember
JUST A FEW DEGREES OFF
Funky monkey
Honey pie
Don’t let me try
Kill the world
Oh me oh my
Seen a guy
An open hole
Lost my sole
A brand new role
Devil stole
Face so fair
Maiden’s mare
Yet I don’t dare
Tears rolling
Eyes red
Lonely head
Thoughts bled
Words held
Then flown free
No one catches
Traps
People
Like a hunch back
Feeble
Notre Dam
Mon dame
Beautiful lady
Freedom flees
Fleas they bite my ankles
Leeches suck my blood
Disease racks my body
Death will not free me
But they will not defile you
Though the demons shall come
They will crumble to dust
At my command
I HAVE NO SKIN 16/1/01
I have no skin
Wherever you touch me
I will not feel right
However you feel me
You will cause me pain
I have no skin
Whatever is beautiful
Comes through clear and strong
Unfiltered heaven
Replenishes my soul
I have no skin
The disease of mankind
Crashes into my nerve ends
For my suppurating wounds
There is no protection
I have no skin
I am both blessed and cursed
I am in joy and in pain
I feel great love and great despair
The end result is inevitable
I am alone
I’M GOING TO MISS YOU 29/2/77
I don’t write poems to you any more
There just seems no point
I can’t get any further
You’re so cold and yet so friendly
It just makes me want to cry
And I do, I still do
You destroyed me that night
That cold, cold very strange night
I’ve never been the same since
Though I guess you were right
I’m too lonely a man for a girl like you
I’ll miss you
As I walk along some distant shore
Alone
I’ll think of you
I’ll cry for you
I’ll wish I could have done something for you
I’ll miss you
My God I’m going to miss you
MY LAP 5/7/78
Mumbled and jumbled
A higgledy-piggledy hay stack
All muttered insanity
A brave new calamity
I turn around to meet my enemy
To find that she’s my friend
Collected and projected
For the picture on the wall
I slip I slide
Fall and stall
Then the tears I ball
My poor soaked pillow
Like a sad drooping willow
Beside the meandering stream
A crazy new fight
But no one has any bite
They’re all too slow
With a puff of wind I blow
They’re gone
My dreams they’re all gone
Stuck in the grimy slimy sty
My fingers can still touch the sky
But now I have to try
I still take to the bush
Where all humans are hushed
I can hear God speaking quietly
There’s no way to hear Him
In the hustling of a city
How can one survive
Let alone live to thrive
On such a meager plate
As has landed on my lap?
I have no reason to clap
Save that I am alive
my girl fiend needs her sex
That I will give no more
The money, the money
I wish it would all just turn to honey
Still I have to buy my bread
I guess there’s nothing more to be said
THE CHINA WALL ROLL-CALL 28/6/17
by Graham Harrington and Euan Fothergill
Harry is quite the asset
with a vehicle full of surprises
If you’re after some cake
or some food that’s not fake
He’ll have it and win all the prizes
The boss may be stooped
And be totally pooped
But his mind is as sharp as a needle
If you’re after a tale
That’s as big as a whale
There’s absolutely no need to wheedle
Heim’s a big man
So he’s into the ham
And anything left on the table
He’s in to the birds
And into the reptiles
And anything else that he’s able
Euan’s a bit aloof
And open to spoof
As he lives alone in his camper
But show him a bird
Or anything heard
And he’ll be quite unhampered
Ceinwen has an appropriate name
Kindness is her claim to fame
If you’re needing a hand
Or a foot just to stand
She’ll be there, that’s the name of her game
Henry’s a bleedin’ budding biologist
He puts his nose into here
He puts his nose into there
And comes out with something extraordinary
He’s picking up this
He’s picking up that
He’ll get bitten by something extraordinary
That bleeding budding biologist
NO NEAR ICICLES 22/3/78
Gently rounded molding firm
Long unfurling curling charm
Smiling blue hue twinkling star bright
Slowly laughing never draughting
On the floor in pleasure unmeasured
Sinking slowly into the night
Delighting and rubbing chaffing
Falling into the fissure
Blowing glowing azure
A diamond
Youthful glinting diamond
Peaceful hinting un-hurting
Thoughts and feelings blurting
The hurting all skirting
Churning burning sunset
We watch hand clasped
I slip the clutch sand blast
Dust storm wandering particles
Still we’ve found no icicles
Sliced pickles nice tickles
Fingle and flobber tingle and clobber
Go rolling down the stairs
Go stepping down in pairs
I love the sound
I love the ground
I love the constant drip
Stalactites and stalagmites
But still we’ve found no icicles
The waters go plop
Thongs flip flop
The pebbles always drop
But you and me will never stop
Because we’ve never found the icicles
Ricicles are crunchy
Tricycles so dangerous
And you know what?
You’re so nicicle
Because you’re no icicle
I HAD TO SOUND THE GONG 26/8/78
Feeling sad
Feeling bad
And all such simple words
But the pain goes much deeper
To touch my soul
To tear at my heart
I’ve lost a love that meant so much
Lost someone that I could touch
The winter’s cold
As I sit here alone
Soon it will be snowing
But even colder is my knowing
For the deed that I have done
Sweet Jesus I cried
Where is the plan?
To tear us apart
Brain begins to part
Tears they long to start
Every night without fail
I pull down my long black veil
I’ve lost her I begin to wail
My skin has gone so pale
As I walk through shingle and shale
The devil he seems like a whale
As into his mouth I blindly stumble
Running from the truth
Running from my youth
My parents did not see the pain that lay within
My lover my friends my God an awful angry din
A lump in my throat
A limp to the moat
She’s standing on the other side
That’s when she starts to gloat
I can’t pretend to understand
The things that all must feel
Especially the ones she feels
With a baby on the way
And her love running the other way
I wish I could stay
My God how I wish I could stay
But the fights and the bites
And oh those awful nights
When all she wants is wrong
I know I’m not strong
So I headed for the gong
And sadly I beat it
To sound the end of round number one
NEGATIVE LOVE 18/10/77
Careful
I care for
I dare for
I’d go far
Sqillion miles
Should I apologize
Make a compromise
Show my demise
Grow here fair eyes
Sow chair good-byes
Empty chairs
Sit alone
No drapes
No dopes
No ropes, strings attached
All hopes things detached
Hopeless roof thatched
Interwoven crashes
Cloven heart thrashes
Fist mashes
Talk to the thrushes
Stalk in the bushes
Negative hopes
No, not that again
Upset my mind
Lost for nothing
Found out everything
Cast in a pit
Then I spit
At least it’s something
Note book noting
It’s not very kind
Out on the pain
In between
There lies nothing
Vain hopes
Shatter and scatter
Flutter then fly
It’s all gone
My love is gone
It’s died once more
ROUNDERS 2/11/77
Nothing ventured
Never rained
Any try for
Always gained
Something burned
Never returned
Callous flow
Dead wind blow
Bleating hopeful
Crying faithful
It’s not to know
But to grow
Ever round
Now it’s lost
Add no cost
And we fall flat
God’s turn to bat
I’ll never catch his ball
Sailed too high
But then he doesn’t expect me to
And neither you too
Peace is nigh
No abyss to fall
So then, my go
LONELY HOURS 15/5/78
Wishing you were here
To share my lonely hours
Wishing you were here
To help my working hours
Sitting on the toilet
Or lying in my bed
A thought unsaid
A tear unshed
Here in my lonely hours
Here in my working hours
M MINUS ONE AND COUNTING 31/4/82
Purple blues
Burps in glues
Which one to choose
Either way I lose
Black dogs howling
Clutch a green feathered goose
Duckling waddles away
And finds another mother
Flies fizzing
Angry brother
Climbs into a brothel
Spends all his money
Then crawls home to mother
What’s the point
Where’s the answer
Blue bird chirping in the trees
Thinks he’s free
Stray bullet splats
Dead blackbird rots
Eaten by ants and maggots
Chomping away at its guts
Hearts don’t break
They just go bounding off down the street
Who can catch them?
What’s the point
Where’s the answer
Flat lemonade
Stops me sinning
Though who would tell on me?
Don’t you dare
Yes I can see you
I understand you
I love you
After all that’s what matters
So they say
Aw gees I’d better fix me a drink
Surrender to iniquity
Be a boozy bum
And sing hum de dum
Stumble woozily home
Collapse in a hang over
Cringe in a headache
But then I wake up later
What’s the point
Where’s the answer
Sooner or later
We must all face the facts
Come to terms with who we are
Our jumbled childhood
Our mixed up teenage
Coming of age
And now I’m a man
Or so they say
Though no matter what
We must all ask the questions
What’s the point
Where’s the answer
THE YOU 2/10 78
Just of late
I’ve felt so fine
Like sailing down the Rhine
Or splashing in the brine
And I owe it most to you
I don’t know why, I don’t know
I only know it’s you
When I’m feeling down and blue
I just stop to dream of you
Then I’m lazing on a beach
Seems like all the stars in reach
When I stop to ponder you
Visiting time, any time
A time I look forward to
So many things to praise
Just so many things seem right
So much a lady
Just enough child
A smile that’s all so mild
You know it drives me wild
For years I have seen you
For so long just friends
Not ’till of late
Have I begun to move towards you
A need I knew
Watched it at it’s dawning
I’d like to enlist you as crew
No, as my captain
I guess more as my mate
AND ONE I WON’T FORGET 19/11/79
Like a memory of old
Those blue eyes shining
A blazing hair of gold
Songs to lift a dreamy heart
Wind in my hair, in my soul
A moonlight night so dark
Uncovered the clouds
To make them shine all silver
Sets my brain a shiver
Like the warm bright light
That utters from a glowing hearth
So was the flame
That uttered from our mirth
It stirred no shame
Was no one’s to claim
Yet something solid arose
Solid
Like a pure piece of prose
Shy though
Sacred
Keeping the distance
From my flaming eyes
That sought to burn
Was no one to blame?
They mocked and jeered
They said I never would again
That never would I gain
So never did I try
Save once I think
And saw you shrink
So what was
Was pure
Untouched by human filth
So I guess I owe you thanks
For a light in each Monday night
For restoring my faith and love in womankind
ROSE GARDENER 29/10/76
Oh to be a rose gardener
The peace and tranquillity
Of looking after
My favorite rose bush
I would not, could not
Pick the rose to place it in a porcelain vase
To watch the young red petals wilt to brown staleness
Rather would I prune the rose bush
That it may grow more splendrously next spring
So when next year it grows more wondrously
I may claim it for my own
With due respect for heaven and earth
When the storm blows high
Would that I be the first one
To rush and cover its tender bending boughs
So that it may not wound its flailing heart
With any wind of wrath
I have watched other gardeners at work
They pick the petals
And prick themselves on the now bloody thorns
Few of those beautiful bushes last but a few springs
Before their strength is waned
Before I plunge in
I wish to know
Where every angry thorn is
Where every rosy flower sits
And where every leaf is placed
That neither I nor the rose bush may be harmed
I don’t want to be the proud owner of a house
In which the rose bush happens to be in
Then move to another house
With a new rose bush
When the first one grows old and stale
I don’t want to be a passer by
Who may gaze at the rose tree
In all its beauty
pick a rose
Then saunter off into the sunset
I wish to be the gardener
And watch the passers by pass by
The owners come one by one
Watch them leave one by one
Look at my dear rose bush
Watch it as it lives
Watch it as it grows
And give thanks
TRAINS OF THOUGHT, THOUGHTS OF NEED 19/4/77
Sleepily nodding
Plodding on
Vices too tight
Crisis’s too many
Devices to catch you
When you make a blue
Black creatures prowling
Red eyes all scowling
Thoughts so beautiful
That you must see
Sift gently through my window pane
Birds and girls so wondrous
Blow slowly down a willowed brook
Fields of daisies, a lone beech tree
Thoughts so ugly
You should not see
Of evil people yet unseen
Of pollution and hate
In the darkened gloom
An empty room
Thoughts too many
Can kill a man
As he jumped off a train
I think they ought to be banned
There’s nothing more dangerous
Than a bad thought canned
Anything else is superfluous
What I mean is
A thought untold
Gets larger and larger
Fig bold and danger
Cold bang up ding gold
Krang pop dang vroom flop
Until the head is screaming
With words unknown
The white coats they come
To take the mind away
Don’t think where the hills are low
Nor when the cold wind blows
When thoughts are shown
Or lawns are mown
A soft moan
May we utter
But keep a tight shutter
On all the stray thoughts
The touch of a smile
Shatters your thought
Alas though can never be bought
If you look hard
On the back of your card
You’ll see your thought
Comes down to naught
Spare thoughts
Go flitting past
I stand aghast
As a blast of cool air
Whips my hair
Thoughts provoked
Thoughts unseen
Produce a magical sheen
Thoughts revoked
Dreams all smoked
A sort of fantasy touch
Life’s unreals
Never reveals
Conceals in caverns
Seen only in taverns
Where drunk men lay
Empty thoughts
That fall on empty ears
Help to increase my fears
But there’s no need to return
‘Cause like a good man said
All roads lead to where I stand
Sitting alone in front of the TV
Ones thoughts thee destroy me
‘Cause friends are near
So never fear
Though thoughts can often be good
They are often associated
With a large and melancholy flood
That’s no good
As is plain to see
Now take me
A thought to me is a deadly device
It can change reality
Twist a fortune
Bend a friend
To all and every proportion
So you see
If I didn’t write
All these silly
Meaningless messages
Then maybe I would die
There’s only one person
Who might listen
To my thoughtful heart
But I’m scared to tell her
Lest she walk away
From a sad little poet
Who needs someone to say
I’ll listen not laugh
I’ll comfort won’t hurt
Let’s be friends not incognitos
Then maybe I’ll die a natural death
And not jump off
A train of thought
To die in the bushes beyond
Where dark creatures are prowling
Where red eyes are scowling
Then maybe I can go to sleep
No need to plod on in search
Of the one fantastic girl
Of the one fantastic thought
A friend indeed
Indeed I need
A friend in need
Where is she?
Miles away
Canned
GETTING BY BACKWARDS 31/1/84
Tomorrow’s gone
But the madness lingers on
The stink of fetal mess
Oozed all over my shiny shoes
My trance was broken
As the screaming began
The flesh fell off her face
The bombs blew it all up
The record player scratched
Jumped, and died an unnatural death
The rest of us squirmed on
Trying to figure out why it happened
Outside in the moaning wind
Something went by backwards
Some legislation was passed
A head was severed
Just an ugly escaped goat
She sucked at dead breasts
Drew no nourishment
And fell back into the quagmire
The past caught up
It overtook
And hurled a missile
It stretched back
All the way to a cave man
defending his cave
With a sharp stick
As next door but one
Came to visit
A CHILD OF GOD NO MORE 9/2/90
What joy is there in salvation if there is no love?
What peace is there in salvation if there is no love?
And why is there no love?
Because we welcomed in the machine
The ever present and selfish I
I’m dying because nobody loves me
Nobody has the time
A child of God no more
Her hands and feet are too busy feeding themselves
Serving the machine
Worshipping little gods
Mommy she stripped me of my dignity
Said I’m sorry I don’t love you
The catch-cry of all humanity
Now, in the back blocks of nowhere
I’ll quietly die again
PANDA FACTORY, YOU AND ME 16/3/95
Tiger too is coming after you
Rhino’s nose knows too much
Panda too he’s needs
And for what?
Two point four too far
Green solution sitting at bay
And for what?
Money, power, little boys games
Bouncing ball, listless in the cupboard
Outgrown, deflated, dead
What do we have?
Computerized mechanized mess
Polluted evil war
Who are you kidding?
Foul’s endless bidding
What is life
A factory
Crunch pack, crunch pack
Filled with mindless machines
Crunch pack, crunch pack
Eking out a life
Sex and a pint
Crunch pack, crunch pack
And what of you and me?
Crunch pack, crunch pack
And panda?
Crunch pack
INSOMNIA 11/12/82
Gradually melting
Sinking into the sand
Becoming despondent
Not quite drifting off to sleep
In the distance a train rumbles
Another siren wails it’s warning
In the steady drip of fine drizzle
The crickets are trying to be cheerful
I’m lying here with an ear full
With a stomach full of this
Just wanting the day to end
JOURNEY 26/2/83
Sleeping in the snow
Driving and cooking in the rain
Laughing away the blues
Standing on the cornice of the world
Walking in the strides of tomorrow
Greeting the friends that be
And making superficial contact
Feeling dreams that might come true
Feeling sad and lonely and blue
Gazing at the eternal fire
Setting moon a silvery sheen
Rising sun a rosy glow
Warmth spread across the lands
It’s there to greet me
Roving in the darkness
Striving for the wonders of the world
Maybe I’ll meet you there
Though of course it could be bare
Except I think for God
How could it be without you?
I’m standing here crunching an apple
A sentinel by the rocky shores
Gently sweeping the sands
One by one
They ebb and flow
The winds blow
I must leave this place
I’ll be there tomorrow
A new land in the sun
And in the end I’m going home
MORE RAIN 2/3/83
Now it’s just you and me and the rain
Somehow that helps to ease the pain
Somehow though it’s just not enough
Now I know that we all must do our doing
But that doesn’t help me now
I’m sure you understand what’s going on
But that doesn’t help me now
Right now I need some reassurance
I don’t think the wonders of your world can help
I can look at them and know
I can look at them and rejoice
But that doesn’t help me now
Because right now it’s dark
Because right now I’m lonely
And right now it’s raining outside
What am I supposed to think now?
All the great mountains are under a cloud
All the sand has turned to mud
And I feel like a load of crud
And how does that help me now?
Tomorrow the sun may come out
But the forecast is for more rain
And that’s bad news for my spirits
FLOWERS IN A DUNGEON (The onset of depression) 29/11/82
Intricate pictures etched in lines and flowers
Bare feet bantering, cantering across a meadow
Trudge a muddy puddle
Murky little waves
Turkish brittle slaves
A flower in their torn lapels
Into dungeons deep propels
In a dark little corner huddles
Ripped feet shuffling
A cringing crumpled fellow
Scribbling intricate details, he glowers
Praying for his deliverance from the powers
NO LOVE 18/11/89
The years of pain are back
Like some malevolent dream
The chiropractors crack
Cannot mend a broken-hearted twist
Spare ribs blare
Children stare
But what does anybody care
And what’s point
If there’s no love
There’s no love
No love
Just an empty shell
On a pleasure seeking cruise
But what’s this I hear you say
You do not dare
Hearts care
Fear flare
You’d rather watch me die
I just can’t do it
If I cannot love
Can’t love
No love
HOW CAN I KEEP ON SINGING 17/6/92
Another red light to add to my frustration
Another red light to add to my condition
Another blazing arrow sent from hell
More painful memories to blast upon my shell
Leaves my shattered mind a ringing
How can I keep on singing
Time is ticking irrevocably by
As I gaze upon an empty sky
Each time I search beyond the horizon
All I ever find is poison
Leaves my shattered mind a ringing
How can I keep on singing
Yet the eternal spark refuses to die
One more time I stumble to my feet and try
Believing that somewhere out there is love
Waiting to be found like a peaceful dove
Leaving my healed soul a tingling
How can I keep from singing?
SHE… 1/8/90
She hunts me in the nether world
She haunts me in my dreams
Yet I hope for days of love and care
I wait for years of us being there
She hurts me with maybes that never come
She destroys me with a word
No
She…
You…
She… she… she…
She smells of the sweetest perfume of night
Whatever we do together seems right
What a desperate hopeless horrible plight
As I lay there awake, awake, awake, all night
She destroys me without a word
She…
You…
She… she…she
She taunts me in the nether world
She flaunts at me in my dreams
Yet I hope that some day soon she’ll see
I’d wait for years if she’d walk towards me
She hurts me with maybes that never come
She destroys me with a word
No
She…
You…
She… she… she
Oh what’s the use?
WHAT ABOUT LOVE 21/8/93
This is the beginning
Of the beginning
Look out
Here comes the end
Of the beginning
A yes
Here is the middle
The squidgy bit
The meat in the sandwich
Oh no
Here comes the beginning
Of the beginning
Of the end
There’s not much else to say
Really
So I guess I might as well go to
The end
I wonder what happened to love?
THE CLOCK 2/5/77
When the clock struck one
I was eating a scone
Trying to remember all I’d done
When the clock struck two
I was sitting with you
A barbed wire fence between us
When the clock struck three
I knew I was free
Jumped over the fence
And ran to a tree
When the clock struck four
It fell to the floor
I gingerly picked it up
And had my sup
When I opened my eyes
I wasn’t tired
When the cuckoo clock struck five
I knew I was alive
I cleared the table of broken glass
Then placed myself in a rubbish bin
And when it struck six
I was picking up the bits
A large open fire
I tossed them in
Then it struck seven
THE STOOL
A silent night
After a dreadful fight
A few things said
With too much bite
A few shed tears
While she silently jeers
Yes I’m still the same
After all these years
I’m no fool
‘Till I lose my cool
And then I’m dead
With an empty stool
ANOTHER LITTLE DREAM NEATLY SHATTERED 26/11/80
What a shit
Another hit to the head
Another kick to the testicles
Found myself in bed
Tears rolling down my face
It’s happened again
I’ve been so good these past years
Kept my heart from running away
Played it cool
Played the field
It’s been okay I guess
Then one weekend I met her
As usual I was instantly attracted
We seemed to be such good friends
As we walked and drove along
She even agreed to come canoeing
So elaborate plans were made
A fantastic weekend planned
Tonight her sister rang up
“Hello is Euan there please?”
“Speaking”.
“Karin can’t make it”.
“Oh”.
Click goes the receiver
The temperature rises
The fist clenched
As I realized I’d done it again
What the hell am I supposed to do?
What the hell did I do wrong?
I just don’t understand
It’s like a bad dream
That’s been repeated so many times
My record player’s stuck
I’m just going around in circles
I swear
I curse
I’m shattered once more
ONLY ONE MORE DREAM 5/10/78
Empty dreams
A soaring flight
That wasn’t in sight
All dead end dreams
Or so it seems
Dirty creams
Un-mellow yellow
No delight
In a drooping daffodil
Or a heart so tight
Yet so unfulfilled
No pill to pop
In my empty dreams
Unending plight
Sad sorrow night
A tearful creamy pillow
I’m sitting as a willow
Curled up in my dreams
Hoping yet moping
With my foolish fantasies
Of peace and love
Found in my hours of slumber
waking an ugly cucumber
Sucking on my towers
‘Till down they do tumble
Then my head begins to crumble
And goes rolling down the dreams
‘Till the streams and the streamers
Steamers or the cleaners
They’re all so utterly gone
The long fair hair
That smile so radiant
All gone
SOUL DRAIN 1/4/01
It’s true
I fear the knife
The potential for pain
The stabbing thrusts of no
Joy runs dribbling
Bleeding from my heart
Pooling at your feet
You splash through my life
My blood on your soles
Pointing an accusing finger
You may have drained my life of love
My life still struggles on though
An empty wandering zombie
Hoping for a Band-Aid
Needing so much more
A long and bloody trail behind me
So many bloody soles
So many knives
Yes it’s true
I fear the potential for pain
I fear the knife
I fear you
FIRST CONTACT 9/2/97
Begin paragraph
Begin line
Capital M
Aye like you
Eye like you
I like you
Connection
Focus
When you smile
Eclipsis
OH TO BE BLIND OR BEAUTIFUL 22/11/78
Sick of going to bed alone
But I don’t want no wife
And even less to get into strife
A late night run
So full of anger
Friends so friendly
Yet none so lovely
So quietly say no
So off on a trip I blow
Away by myself I go
No promise of peace
Hopeless situations
Pass unseeingly by
Here comes a dark night
So full of evils might
Sweet Lord Jesus out of sight
No comforting arms surrounded
No mother’s sweet solace
A branded ugly necklace
Draped around my choking neck
Drooped a lolling senseless head
Doped my fuzzy empty brain
Incensed by rejection
Anger for a girl
Spreads to filled my world
So no one can see through the mist
My heart no one yet has kissed
Their arrows wound my mushy brain
Make me blind to see
Imaginings of caring
All loud horns blaring
Fanfare tram fare
What the hell do they care?
All I need is love
Won’t anyone offer?
I’m so sick and tired
I’ve been tied by a two inch tether
My bite isn’t all that hard
I cry out in need
Not a simple want
A thirst of twenty years
Just one I need
In the meantime I’m dying
A man without love is nothing
Suicide is on my mind
CRACKED AND CREAKING MIRROR 30/11/78
Saw my face in the mirror
And almost punched the mirror
But brushed my teeth instead
Saw my shoes upon the floor
Decided they were soft enough to kick
So sent them flying to the wall
Sat and ripped my hair out
Whimpering like a little puppy
Crying out for a mother not there
Crying out for a father never there
The last straw so very near
Large flat area should be cleared
Softly padded floor
Watch out people in my way
I’m sick of people who can’t be bothered
Went around to see a friend
But she laughed with a pregnant goldfish
And the goldfish was happy
It’s not allowed to be happy
So I came home in my battered vehicle
Saw my tattered face in a broken mirror
No it’s not all worth it
But still I fixed the mirror
Without a smile
Utter desperation
Absolute degradation
Something’s got to break
Cooked will be my steak
But my goose will waddle away
To find a brighter day
My luck must change
Got to finish my term sometime
Then maybe I’ll find out why
I won’t never need to cry
That day is when I die
TO ANYONE AT ALL 9/10/77
I’m no whiz with words
I’ve no music to soothe your soul
I’ve no brains to make a million overnight
No muscles to win that fight
I’ve no bias for colour class or creed
My own mouth I can adequately feed
Hearts are like bread
You can’t know the time
It’s lost in my head
No song can it return
It’s set there to burn
Can’t you heed
It’s not meant to rhyme
No it’s time for bed
Or at least a new urn
Muddle in my middle
Puddle and I churn
I watch for fantasies
No fake sun passes me by
Though I’ve seen some try
Writings too deep to see
Yet I pray
Hoping they’ll stay
Who knows in April
Maybe it will
April’s before May
There’s a hope all by itself
I’ve no faith to go one more
Too much to know before
Never reach the core
Oh what a bore
If you drop the curve
And split the r
It looks like love
But I’m not fooled
That’s all they’ve got in common
I can’t love everyone
No one loves me
So why should I?
God’s given me no strength
Though often I pray
Not meant for me
No reason to try
Jesus said at length
That we all must pray
Oh God I love you
But I don’t know how
Sweat on my brow
After a days work
No love to go around
I still don’t know
I need to now
It’s stuck to my shirt
And still not found
Lost in a blow
A cold steely wind
Look through a wind
Ow! That hurts
As I bump on the glass
It should be grass
A thump on nothing
What can I do?
I’m lost there always
A maze of hallways
Needy in each room
And still no broom
No money for a rug
It’s my turn to bat
A concrete ball
I turn to swipe
Nothing there
Howl in despair
God I need a hair
Send it with love
To the girl next door
And while you’re at it
A new floor
How about four walls?
For good measure a roof?
My how they’d love you
I’m too poor
Lost in the halls
In need of proof
You know I love you
Proof for me in you
Some have non
All in despair
They’ve got no love
Send it with a dove
To anyone at all
MY LAST PEACEFUL PLACE
Building bridges no one climbs
Building towers no finds
A pointless existence we pursue
Asking questions with no reason
Why is a question, but that’s treason
Fortifying dreams no one shares
Creating thoughts no one believes
A hopeless situation we find
Answers with a squillion questions
Why ask a question when you’re blind?
You know people aren’t inherently bad
But neither are they kind
I build a wall, it needs knocking down
I build a stall, won’t you come and buy?
And please ask a question why
Who knows, you may receive one answer
I’m not that easily scared away
Though you’ll find I’m scared
And too often scarred
A face all marred
A tearful existence
Knock down my conscience
Create all hatred
If I build a tower it will be a one way trip
There in my back yard
I’ve climbed my hill
To find a mountain behind
I’ve paddled my lake
To come to the base of a waterfall
I’ve been to many a country
Many more I’ll find
I’ve been attacked by homo’s
But never found love
I’ve been attached to hobos
But always moved on
Now I’m tired
Built my last wall
Fallen off my last tower
Formed my last dream
Under the waterfall had my last shower
Think I’ve found some power
It comes from two
One is you
The other my God
Your God
Everyone’s God
FIRE TO SMILE BY 31/10/77
I’ve felt a fire inside
Of bright white light
Watched it kindled
Fed it with myself
Take me I’m gone
Get the face all smiles
Feed the faith walk for miles
I’m not the pretender
Not found in a blender
Though I’m still tender
Every bridge I’ll cross
Cos I believe
No fridge full of moss
What a relief
Pass a handkerchief
Wipe the sweat away
A signpost the right way
Only a trickle of tears
Not as in past years
I’ll not give in
Devil in the bin
Thrown into a spin
Gleeful fleeful
Muscular tuskular
Fly to a new sun
It’s deep inside me
Bring it up
Sun burn
I stand still depressed
But it always passes
Laughing in Masses
Lost the mosses
Head tosses
Red eyes
No demise
Few cries
All for joy
Smiles deploy
You know why
Well so do I
That little fire
Just grew another inch
OUT FISHING AGAIN 18/1/81
I’m not a very good fisherman
I’ve been out fishing for years
Collected all sorts of garbage
From old rotten boots
To terrible cold shoulders
Once I caught a live one
But I got my line tangled
I had to let her go
Took line sinker rod and all
I didn’t go fishing for a while
I had to buy a new rod and gear
I hope this stuff works better
Cos I’m getting hungry again
JUST ANOTHER GONE FOREVER 20/5/01
Closing the door to my flat
I’m alone here
Just another goodbye
Putting my socks in the wash
I wait for you
Just another so long
Keeping my eyes on the road
I miss you
Just another trail of sorrow
Watching the aeroplanes fly
I dream of you
Just another ache
Gazing out through the pane
I see you
Just another story of loss
Listening to Bach in the lounge
I hear you
Just another broken heart
Riding up in a lift
You’re standing next to me
Just another plunge into depression
Brushing my teeth at the sink
I kiss you
Just another day without love
Watching the guy get the girl
I hold you
Just another scream in my head
Hitting my head on the wall
You’re gone forever
Just another crash back to reality
CULL A COW A DAY 22/6/10
Cull a cow a day
Bash a bull
Mangle a Myna
Strangle a Starling
But cull a cow a day
Come on all you militant greenies
Cull a cow a day
Bash a bull
Choke a chook
Grind a goose
But cull a cow a day
The things are fouling up the country
Come everybody
Cull a cow a day
Bash a bull
Shoot a sheep
Hamstring a horse
But cull a cow a day
There’s no place for the birds and the bees
There’s no place left to play
For God’s sake please
Cull a cow a day
Bash a bull
Wrestle a rat
Massacre a mouse
But cull a cow a day
Now it might mean a little less food
But we can use that as an excuse
To wring the neck of a red-neck
Ooh yeah!
How about flambé a fisherman
Shanghai a shooter
But please cull a cow a day
Bash a bull
Douse a donkey (with petrol)
Crush a cockroach
But cull a cow a day
Doesn’t matter how or when or where
Just get out there and do it
Let’s show these environmental vandals
Cull a cow a day
It feels good to
Bash a bull
Slay a slug
Smash a snail
Just so long as you cull a cow a day
And while you’re at it don’t forget to
Flatten the flies
and mash the mosquitos
ANGEL DREAMING 2
Dreams come true for dreamers
I am dreaming with you
What’s within your navel
As you gaze upon the sea?
Birds and Batfish all beautiful
Per chance a little me?
A vision in soft white
She breezed into the plane
Island beauty
Island Belle
You cast a lovely spell
FAINT BUT EAGER FOOTSTEPS 18/2/11
Friday morning coming home
Saturday morning nearly there
Sunday morning I feel your hair
Mouth to mouth rejuvenated
Though our bones grow old and bent
The river runs deep between us
Hand in hand we are secure
The table is set
The meal in play
Mine eyes can see you
I can taste your sweat
Through the chaos
The daily distractions
My love for you retains
With faint but eager footsteps
My strength of resolve regains